Five Alternative Uses For Your Worthless Seat Pad
It's still July, barely, which means stories like Michigan banning seat pads from the Big House — while season ticket holders, as if they haven't dropped enough dough, are provided the option to lease an official Wolverine Seat for $35 per season — still move the needle around these parts. Like many of you, I've owned an officially licensed U-M seat cushion, but not the AD-approved permanent rental, and used it at games for years. Those are now worthless, right?
Not so fast, says the M-Den. They're dual-purpose, you see...
A kneeling pad with a handle? This is innovation, not a blatant money-grab. American ingenuity at its finest. In that vein, we crowdsourced some ideas for alternative uses for these totally useful hunks of branded foam.
NON-AERODYNAMIC FRISBEE
Looking for something to toss around the Diag? Look no more! The handle provides an easy grip for throwing, and the soft foam interior ensures that nobody's hurt when your toss inevitably lands nowhere near your intended target.
EMERGENCY FLOATATION DEVICE
Why are these women so happy to be jumping out of a doomed plane? With their officially-licensed floatation devices, they know that as long as they survive the impact with that large, rapidly-approaching body of water, they'll be floating in style while waiting for the Coast Guard.
[HT: BiSB and @MikeSmuz]
OVERSIZED EARMUFFS
Dave Brandon himself was kind enough to model the latest in Michigan-branded winter fashion. Perfect for staying warm during November football games or going incognito when the fanbase finally turns against you in full, penniless force.
VERY STYLISH HAT
@AceAnbender #KneelingPad You could make a really ugly hat that you absolutely would not want to sit on at halftime. pic.twitter.com/eTGSybWxZH
— Mike Randazzo (@TremendousSW) July 31, 2013
Lookin' good. But if you sit on it, they will shoot you.
MY VERY OWN MGOPANIC ROOM
Provides extra padding for the next time you're waiting out a commit watch/unwanted Buckeye visitor.
[HT: @Looukey]
throwing bonanza at the 1989 Rose Bowl. They made the questionable decision to pass out free seat cushions to people with some sort of advertising message (may have been Sprite but I can't remember). By later in the game, there were tons of them being winged around the stadium like big, square frisbees. I saved mine, but finally got rid of it a few years ago when it got damaged somehow. Those were the days. Now it costs $35 per year.
Although the scene after the Final 4 victory against SYR where three stories of bright orange cushions rained down was one of the coolest things I've ever experienced.
My wife was taking a video of that on her phone, and you can hear me saying "that's going to get knocked out of your hands" the instant before a flying cushion knocks it out of her hands and the phone hits the ground. Which makes it even more memorable for me since I have a video of an "I told you so" moment.
August 1st, 2013 at 10:22 AM ^
I also took like 4 of those home.
I suggest that someone give that to their wife and tell them it's a kneeling pad, and get back to us with the reaction.
That was my first thought, too.
Then I read the explanation and my second thought was "who gets blown while doing gardening?"
I'm not all that intelligent.
August 1st, 2013 at 12:02 PM ^
Devin Gardner does. Duh.
I thought they made the switch to seat cushion "leasing" a few years ago, no? Maybe I'm wrong, but seems like an odd thing for non-seniors (as in non-senior citizens, rather than 4year students) to be upset about. I only see the olds bringing seat cushions to games, but if I were a seat cushion fan, I'd probably like the idea of leasing one so that I didn't have to carry it around and it could just magically appear on game day once I got to my seat.
Bigger fish to fry. I'll save my (numerous) gripes for Jock Jamz and bumblebee uniforms.
Pretty small potatoes, IMO.
Ok, maybe it's not all olds, and I can see why you like the leased cushions. I'm not pro or anti-cushion, I just think that complaints about cushions are better spent elsewhere. Like I said, if I wanted a cushion, I'd much prefer to lease one and have it ready for my arrival. I don't like to carry any more than I have to. Lazy me.
@UM2k1 - totally agree. Leasing the seat cushions is primarily about space over comfort. And I even sit on an aisle. But I no longer have to sit with my left cheek off the end of the bench. Great to have that placeholder in place all the time. I mean, they're not even that comfortable. (Well, not until my fat ass squishes it down some anyway.)
In and of itself, the seat cushion thing isn't a big deal. But in the big picture, it's yet another example of the AD nickel and diming paying customers by making going to games slightly less convenient for a portion of the crowd unless they fork over even more money. If you buy into the concept of the ticket pricing/attendence bubble, this is yet another reason to just stay home and watch the game on your (cushioned) couch.
"Slightly less convenient for some"...slightly more convenient for others. If DB really wants to add some revenue, they'd pour a ton of in-stand vendors into the bowl. There's a ton of vending money being lost by forcing people to get up for food/drink. Less convenient and losing money. But...maybe DB is being smart with this one...if folks have to get up for refreshments, maybe they miss some of the Jock Jamz and are, therefore, less bothered by it.
but to also make them available for the $35 yearly fee, you could make the case that this isn't just another way to extract money from the wallets of Michigan ticket holders.
But it's not, so you can't.
Oh, it's a jack. No doubt. I just think that on the list of things to complain about, this doesn't even register. No bottled water allowed in? Little/no in-seat refreshment service? Jock Jamz? Clown uniforms? Etc. There are a lot more people interested in bottled water (especially on hot days) than are intensely concerned about their seat cushions.
I would agree with you that it's low on the Outrage-O-Meter, but then I'm not a season ticket holder. I wonder what the older folks with sore asses think about this.
Most of them, I imagine, lease the cushions. (If you're going to pay $1000+ for the right to sit in your place, are you going to draw the line at $35 for a more comfortable seat?)
Quite a few people have been doing so the last few years - if you come in early when the stadium's still mostly empty, you'll see how many there are.
I'm a season ticket holder (and I guess I didn't give any thought to those who aren't), but my ass generally doesn't get sore (unless I eat Indian food). If I wanted a cushion, I'd be happy to use the leasing service.
That's a nice thought but no sports team is going to do that in this day and age, for the same reason that they don't allow fans to bring in their own food - they're not going to undercut their own profit margins.
I'm actually surprised fans were even allowed to bring in cushions as late as last season - I had no idea. It seems like most people made the switch when it was still volontary (probably for the same reason described above - it helps mark your territory).
If I am Mrs. Dave Brandon, I'd suggest that he skips his nightly blog-reading this evening.
If she really wants to distract Dave away from the blogs, she should get out her special kneeling pad.
Could use the seat cushions to sit on the ground while they wait 5 hours every saturday before kickoff?
They closed that loophole -- no purses allowed, either.
Based on Brian's reaction to this news I'm guessing somebody just went out and bought themselves a nice, shiny new seat cushion.
$35??? When I was in school, tickets were $20!
Awwwww, fuck it.
You know what would fix this problem? Standing up more often and getting into the damn game.
"You could make a really ugly hat that you absolutely would not want to sit on at halftime."
Holy crap, that MDen screenshot is real! I was totally expecting it to have been photoshopped like the rest of the pics. (They were photoshopped, right? Or are there really two people falling out of the sky with officially liscensed UM seat cushions?)
$20 – Mott stadium bench seat cushion, approved for regular-season use
http://www.mlive.com/wolverines/index.ssf/2013/04/parking_tv_and_more_a…
If paying $35 isn't an issue, you should do it. The U-M seat pads are much thicker than the ones you can buy, and you don't have the hassle of carrying them around town. Most importantly, they protect your seat's territory, since they can't slide around. I've gotten much more "buttroom" since I started getting the seat cushion.
I'm sorry, but I have yet to see the waterfall inside Michigan's locker room. Have you seen it? Oh yeah, that's right. It's in Alabama's locker room isn't it?
Boohoo! I'd rather stand the whole game anyway... but I sure am glad you shmucks will always be around to fund my school's athletic program... when you inevitably cave and actually buy a seat cushion rental.
Seriously... that even sounds ridiculous in my head. "Dave Brandon took away our free seat cushions! I'm entitled to my free seat cushion priveleges!" wow...
August 1st, 2013 at 11:51 AM ^
This comment was brought to you fresh from the 1980s.
August 1st, 2013 at 12:26 PM ^
got a call from Homeland Security telling him he had to ban seat cushions.
My 75 year old father suffers from hemorroids and prostate issues, as many men do or soon will. The seat cushions don't always help, but he won't attend a game without one.
I took him to UM at Nebraska last fall and several UM games in Ann Arbor.
He's is not a "down-in-front!"er, blue-hair either. He stands as long as he can and is as hoarse as any one in the student section after the game.
So....I guess I won't be attending another Michigan football games with him in the future, which really sucks.
If it's any consolation (or if you see this) you should be able to get an exemption from the AD if you send in a doctor's note (assuming you aren't a season ticket holder). They'll send you a letter that you show when you go through the gate that will allow you to take in a seat cushion. That's how I know someone takes in a seatback into Michigan Stadium.
...in the right spots, this thing finally has a use other than making you look retarded...
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