Punt/Counterpunt: Utah 2015
PUNT
By Heiko Yang, unplugged
Now that I’m more than a year out from my full-ish part time mgoblog duties, I think I can finally admit this: I suck at watching football.
Don’t get me wrong. I love physically watching football. I love watching it on TV, in the stadium, from the press box, and especially from the sideline, which I was lucky enough to do many times over the past few years. But that’s not the issue.
It's just that on any given play I like to pay attention only to whatever is most interesting, and usually that is the ball. This is precisely what you’re not supposed to do if you want to watch the game with any sort of sophistication, and realizing this tendency (and not really being able to help it) has been somewhat embarrassing. When Ace and I started covering Michigan games together, it didn’t take more than a few quarters to figure out who should handle the analysis.
From the Ohio State game in 2011, via the Live Blog:
That run went nowhere, but Lewan planted Shazier on the ground ten yards downfield.
— Ace Anbender (@AceAnbender) November 26, 2011
Damn, Ace. That was a great observation. You appreciated a relevant aspect of the play that was independent of where the ball ended up.
Meanwhile:
There's a guy wearing a Ghillie suit in the student section
— Heiko Yang (@Heiko25) November 26, 2011
Over the past year I’ve been learning how to be a doctor. One of the most difficult skills to acquire early on is the ability to assess a patient’s problems. There's a lot of data to consider, both relevant and distracting, when you want to fully understand the situation. You have to force yourself to stop watching the quarterback and the ball to instead systematically look at field position, down-and-distance, personnel, offensive formation, and defensive alignment, and once the ball is snapped you have to watch the how the offensive line blocks, how the defense blitzes or executes their run fits, how the receivers run their routes, how the coverage responds …
This analogy sounds ridiculous now, so I’ll stop. The point is that being an active observer, a description that I’ve found to describe good doctors as well as people who watch football at a high level, is hard work. In medicine, I have to get better at this because I have a responsibility to fulfill. In football … for me, not so much. I never wanted it to feel like a responsibility, so I guess that’s why I never bothered to get better at it.
In a lot of ways I'm happy about this. After a work day that started at 4:30 this morning, I’m looking forward putting my brain on passive mode to enjoy the game for a few hours. No cortical function is required to cheer when the ball moves forward and boo when it does not. Plus there are so many things – Harbaugh! Peppers! Offense! Night game! Thursday?? Uniformz????? – to keep me tickled. I almost don’t care if Michigan wins or loses.
But you know what? Prognosticating based on little to no evidence is just another small liberty I can enjoy only in football, so what the hell:
Michigan 28, Utah 17.
-------------------------------
COUNTERPUNT
by Nick RoUMel
Dave Brandon Answers Questions About the Upcoming Season.
Dear Dave,
I am very excited about Michigan's prospects. The oppressive feeling of embarrassment and hopelessness is gone, as surely as the Munchkins danced after Dorothy killed the Wicked Witch of the West. What do you think?
- Art S.
Art,
You simpleton. Just as those Munchkins remained short, your team will remain bad. Find another one to root for.
Dear Dave,
I'm a little nervous about the quarterback situation. Why won't Coach Harbaugh name a starter? Do you think it has anything to do with Shane Morris' concussion?
- Matt G.
Matt,
What have you been drinking? Shane Morris did NOT have a concussion. Did you not read the press release that our marketing team issued in the middle of the night, after 48 hours of consulting medical manuals? It was a "probable sinus headache."
Dear Dave,
What do you think of Coach Harbaugh's pre-season antics? There's been a lot of great buzz created about this Michigan team. I'm excited.
- Mo
Mo,
Some coaches create more embarrassment than buzz. For instance, you don't see me running around shirtless at Toys "R" Us grand openings. I remain as dignified on the first day on the job, as I will when I eventually drive the stock price into the ground.
Dear Dave,
I don't know who to pick in this one. I truly believe we are much improved, but playing a tough Utah team on the road might be too much to overcome.
- C/Punt
C/Punt,
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. You need to grow up. Michigan is going to get its ass kicked. I say, Utah 24-UM 20.
Now let me go back to running my toy company, please.
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:11 PM ^
Learning to pay attention to the defensive alignments and blocking schemes has been a struggle for me, but I'd like to get batter at it.
Here's to an O-line that is worth studying!
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:21 PM ^
Now I want pancakes for dinner. I'm sure that goes well with my pregame beer.
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:20 PM ^
"No cortical function is required to cheer when the ball moves forward and boo when it does not."
I like this. Quick ... get this on a T-shirt.
"I almost don’t care if Michigan wins or loses."
I hate you.
"Michigan 28, Utah 17"
I love you again.
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:24 PM ^
I haven't done a damn thing at work today that couuld be even remotely considered "work", not even pretending anymore... Just been refreshing MGoBlog and twitter to get football hot takes... BEST DAY EVER!
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:29 PM ^
Same.
I'm just sitting here refreshing MGoBlog 100 times a minute until 2:00 finally comes.
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:29 PM ^
You're not alone.
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:29 PM ^
Nothing made me genuinly happier in regards to Michigan football in the last 4 years than Heiko's press conference coverage. Glad to see him show up.
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:56 PM ^
Drevno is every bit as Ft. Schembechler as Nuss, possibly more, but I wanna see a Heiko-Harbaugh exchange.
I know I'm a real asshole for thinking this, but I've been not-so-secretly hoping Heiko washes out of his medical career just to see that. Yes, I'm horrible.
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:32 PM ^
I think it used to be the case that if you wanted to watch football at a higher level, you needed to look at the keys of plays (pulling guards, pass sets, etc.). Now I'm not sure that's the case, at least not to the same extent.
The recent trend has been to run packaged plays that all have the same action but end up different places based on what the defense does. I recently read about a Mississippi drive last season where they called the same play eight times in a row, but that ended up as inside runs, bubble screens, QB keepers, and downfield passes. In such a situation, what do you get by, say, watching the guard?
Do what makes you happy. If that's watching the ball, watch the ball.
September 3rd, 2015 at 1:33 PM ^
Heiko, you're probably my favorite writer on this site. Glad that you've got enough free time to keep on writing Punt
September 3rd, 2015 at 2:31 PM ^
Heiko,
Sorry, but It does require quite a bit of cortical function "to cheer when the ball moves forward and boo when it does not".
Keep studying,
A neurologist
:)
September 3rd, 2015 at 3:55 PM ^
Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad
September 3rd, 2015 at 4:17 PM ^
Wow! That is awesome!!
September 3rd, 2015 at 4:24 PM ^
September 3rd, 2015 at 4:42 PM ^
I had to google "Ghillie." Now I know. Go Blue!
September 3rd, 2015 at 5:30 PM ^
September 3rd, 2015 at 9:38 PM ^
I love fall!
September 3rd, 2015 at 9:38 PM ^
I love fall!
September 3rd, 2015 at 9:38 PM ^
I love fall!
September 3rd, 2015 at 9:38 PM ^
I love fall!
September 5th, 2015 at 12:42 PM ^
Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail
September 6th, 2015 at 11:38 AM ^
September 6th, 2015 at 11:38 AM ^
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