Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me To Rutgers Edition

Win will cause me to celebrate with some lap dances at the Bada Bing. 
 

a loss will cause me to go through a AJ Soprano emo phase. 

Win: curse Jim Delaney for adding Rutgers to the Big 10

Lose: curse the year 1916 for Michigan rejoining the Big 10 after it’s 9 year absence. 

Win will cause me to believe that we are going 12–0

Loss will cause me to believe that we are going 11–1

I've been vaccinated for BPONE

Our running game alone will beat Rutgers, even if we don't throw a single pass. But Cade will throw a few TDs and have a good game. Our RBs will go over 300 yards once again. 

Michigan 52 - Rutgers 24.

Win: shrug shoulder and say, it’s just Rutgers

lose: wear a mask to work to hide from coworkers 

Win: shrug shoulder and say, it’s just Rutgers

lose: wear a mask to work to hide from coworkers 

Win will cause me to:  seek spiritual tips/tricks to prevent a key injury from derailing this season (looking at you for guidance stephenrjking ;)

Loss will cause me to: watch every episode of Jersey Shore as penance for my optimistic hubris 

I know it is only Rutgers but this is a trap game.  With Madison on the horizon the coaches will have to keep them focused on this game.  It will be closer than expected but we will end up winning with a big scare. 

A win will have me worried about going to Madison next week. A loss and I could give two shits about going to Madison next week. 

Winning will cause me to gird my loins in prepararion of what could be a very successful season.

Losing will cause me to pull out Thomas Paynes' 'The Crisis' to help me gird my loins for what could be a very unsuccessful season.

I respectfully disagree.  We are going to destroy them.  (Loss will cause me to stop watching football for 11 months.)