Santa Cook time.
Each year comes with 3 Chistmases.
1. The December 25 one which is distressing as many of us increasingly take on the physical characteristics of Santa Claus.
2. The awesome first Michigan football game one when we get to unwrap all of these new players, coaches, schemes, hopes and dreams.
3. The best one, which is of course the day we get to unwrap the year's first UFR courtesy of Santa Cook.
So Brian's probably nose down sorting together the good, the bad and the - Harbaugh - "unacceptable" and I got to thinking about what his routine is.
Does he do it at Rick's wearing a disguise to deter fanboys?
At home pantless like the rest of us when we're at home?
Is he stoked to do them or are they a slog?
Is he sipping chamomile or inhaling 3-5 Jack's neat?
Do you see this when imagining him at work on our beloved UFRs?
Or this but with Jesus hair, a beard and goofy glasses?
Insider insight would be appreciated, and yes, I imagine I'm not the only one excited for the first UFR!
September 9th, 2015 at 1:30 PM ^
is this a posbang?
this is how excited i am -- however, I am not trying to force something with non-smooth edges into my mouth like the person depicted above
September 9th, 2015 at 2:15 PM ^
September 9th, 2015 at 1:25 PM ^
You imagined correctly! I'm excited!!
September 9th, 2015 at 1:26 PM ^
I prefer draftageddon.
September 9th, 2015 at 3:30 PM ^
That is one feature on this site that I don't really care for.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:26 PM ^
Good idea. Imminent first UFR posbang!
September 9th, 2015 at 1:29 PM ^
12PM Wake Up
1215PM Pet Cat
1230PM B1G bowl of cereal
1PM Watch Spongebob
130PM Pet Cat
143PM Random snarky comments on twitter
2PM Pet Cat
3PM UFR TIME
4PM Nap
5PM Yell at Ace for forgetting to feed his cat
530 B1G pewp.
You get the idea.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:32 PM ^
This is frontpage-worthy
September 9th, 2015 at 2:04 PM ^
Sounds like Pelini's schedule.
September 9th, 2015 at 3:07 PM ^
who thought "pet cat" was a euphemism for something totally different
September 9th, 2015 at 9:52 PM ^
Considering Darker Blue's posting history, you're probably right.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:30 PM ^
I so concur. I've probably refreshed the page at least 10 times already today waiting for the UFR to drop.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:32 PM ^
that I'm not the only one that never wears pants at home. They're usually off within 5 mins of my walking through the door.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:34 PM ^
September 9th, 2015 at 1:40 PM ^
The same people that put their toilet paper on so it goes under the roll, instead of over the roll as God intended. Psychopaths.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:58 PM ^
for a cleaner tear. You get to use the roller as leverage. If you go the over route you are completely rudderless, you get half ripped peices, little peices falling on the ground. It is just a big mess.
September 9th, 2015 at 2:04 PM ^
Must concur. Aesthetically, over wins, but tactically, you gotta go with under.
September 9th, 2015 at 2:09 PM ^
September 9th, 2015 at 2:38 PM ^
you use it? what about the ink marks?
September 9th, 2015 at 2:50 PM ^
joke here, but I'm not making it.
September 9th, 2015 at 3:32 PM ^
Overhand, and only overhand, forever. You can't control how many squares you pull when it's underhand, and then the quilting is oriented the wrong way.
C'mon, man.
September 9th, 2015 at 3:46 PM ^
The under also requires a longer reach, sometimes with an uncomfortable twist, depending on, you know, the locality of the roll vis-a-vis the wiper. I hope this settles it.
September 9th, 2015 at 8:13 PM ^
September 9th, 2015 at 8:27 PM ^
like toilet paper. He who makes the change sets the direction.
Over.
September 9th, 2015 at 2:20 PM ^
You're correct, but you don't know why.
The truth is, I am both of those. I wear pants at home and have the devil's paper in my bathroom. Same reason for both. Young children.
Young children will straight up TP your house given the chance, but their little brains are too stupid to figure out backwards toilet paper. What they aren't too stupid for is costing you a lot in counseling due to some deep seeded resentment that dad wouldn't PUT ON A PAIR OF PANTS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!
I was like you once.
September 9th, 2015 at 2:24 PM ^
I'm torn... (much like toilet paper). Maybe we need a UFR for this? Brian, if you're not busy...
September 9th, 2015 at 2:02 PM ^
September 9th, 2015 at 1:35 PM ^
Yes, I've seen people mention waiting for the UFR on twitter. I thought it was yesterday but Ace corrected us.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:44 PM ^
Nobody is safe!!!!!!!!!!!
September 9th, 2015 at 1:44 PM ^
I was going to make a forum topic about it, and decided against it. But this is as good a place as any to say it:
Our quarterback's name is Jake Rudock. RU-DOCK
Rudock. Rudock. Rudock.
NOT RUDDOCK. It's also not any of the following:
- Rudddock
- Ruddddock
- Rupock
- Ruqock
- Rubock
- Rubix Cube
- Rubicon
Ok, glad I got that out of my system.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:46 PM ^
so its
Jake
Rudddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddock?
September 9th, 2015 at 1:48 PM ^
Also Rudolph. Autocorrect's go to assumption of Jake's name.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:55 PM ^
I'm pretty sure it's Ruddock. Yea I'm gonna go with Ruddock.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:58 PM ^
It was established that the number of "D"'s in his name indicated the number of the Rudock clone, and that clone's place on the depth chart.
EX: Jake Rudddddock is the fifth Rudock clone, and he's 5th string behind Rudock, Ruddock, Rudddock, and of course Ruddddock.
It should be noted that David Cone is 6th on the depth chart (but #1 in our hearts).
September 9th, 2015 at 2:01 PM ^
That makes sense. I prefer Ruddock still, because of obligatory "preference for back up while bitching about starter."
September 9th, 2015 at 2:06 PM ^
I'm partial to Double D's myself.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:59 PM ^
talking about Jake Rudux?
September 9th, 2015 at 2:03 PM ^
It's pronounced " Rewr-Doiek"
September 9th, 2015 at 5:01 PM ^
September 9th, 2015 at 1:52 PM ^
Doesn't it usually drop between 2 and 3 pm EDT....so close now folks...so close...I specifically got to work early, so I could leave work early so I could veg with UFR at home.
September 9th, 2015 at 1:53 PM ^
I'm actually not excited for the UFR. I think the conclusion will be that we are very average. After watching a few other teams this weekend it has become really obvious to me that even though we get a lot od 4 star guys, we don't have very many above average athletes relative to other teams. I watched the game with a friend who doesn't follow college football at all and he commented on how clumsy and slow a lot of UofM players looked except for Butt, Peppers and a few others. It's a hard leaf to swallow, but I worry he might be right. I think we can hang on to false hope and say "Well, its the first game." or "We did some good things, just gotta put it al together." or "Harbaugh", but I haz a sad about this season still. We need to unleash Peppers and play him on offense. Give him the ball 5 to 10 times a game and see what happens. What do we have to lose?
September 9th, 2015 at 2:05 PM ^
September 9th, 2015 at 2:08 PM ^
I don't do pills. Not orally at least.
September 9th, 2015 at 2:11 PM ^
September 9th, 2015 at 2:28 PM ^
Pills = Suppositories. It's how I take my vitamins twice a day. It's fast and convenient and usually against my will.
September 9th, 2015 at 3:49 PM ^