OT: The path not taken. A thread for reflection and regrets
Lately I've been thinking about a few decisions in my life that led me to where I am today.
Is there a single event or decision that changed your life, for good or bad, which sticks out in your memory? Did you make the right decision? If you had to do it over again would you turn left instead of right?
I've made too many mistakes to count, but my biggest regret is my choice of career. I was a pretty good DJ (radio, not unce unce unce) and lately I've been thinking I should have stuck with it instead of selling my soul to a bank.
From experience I think you made the right call. Corporate America is an ass-kicker. Sure you will make more money, but you would likely be heavier, have much more stress, be on the verge of health issues, and perhaps even marriage issues. That daily grind made me feel like I was trapped in bondage with no way out. I found a way out and now happily work for myself. Life is good again. Be thankful for your decision. Had you went the other way, you might be posting here about how you wish you would have left Corporate America when you had the chance.
Some of happiest people I know have a modest income and modest lifestyle.
Major things in my life sort of happened because of fate - met some people who were kind enough to mentor me and that altered by career - could have been on a different rotation cycle and just would have missed them. Just luck, I was keen on learning and they just happened to be keen on teaching - that combo doesn't always happen.
Wished I spent more time with my late dad after I got out of school.
Wished I kept up and could play a musical instrument - can't even recall how to read music but once I could sight read and just let it all dwindle away because of other pursuits.
Good decision: Was a freshman at Purdue, got offered a Civil Engineering internship program. At the same time was accepted into the Naval Academy. Took the Naval Academy offer. Best decision ever. Got to go fly three tours in Iraq.
I remember at the time thinking...if I go to Annapolis I would have to do a full 4 year undergrad (one year at Purdue doesn't count) so total of 5 undergrad. It seemed like a big deal at the time. Small minded freshman.
Count myself fortunate to not have many yet (30 years old).
Minor one was being in a long term relationship for about a year. I should have stayed single all senior year of college and having that LTR held me back when I moved to an area of the country where I didn't know anyone. I at least dodged a bullet and got out of that relationship before it really sank my hopes and dreams.
I had the foresight to know that I wanted to live abroad, fluently speak another language, and travel like crazy when I was 23. Somehow I got a well paying corporate job in France at 24 and lived there for several years, traveling both for work and pleasure, being single, speaking French, and having non English speaking friends and girlfriends from around the world.
Now this seems like a lifetime ago. Now that itch is scratched and all I want is to split my time between Montana and the Leelanau peninsula and raise boys that love being outdoors as much as I do.
Also, I want to spend as much time and do as much as I can with my parents while they are still around and are still able in mind and body. Hearing so many talk about losing their parents breaks my heart.
When I was looking for a job in advertising right out of school, I was offered a job at one of the best agencies in the country in San Francisco. I accepted. I got an apartment, signed a lease, etc....I had been trying to get into an agency in Chicago but they dragged their feet, so I accepted the SF job. It was about as low as you can go in the creative department -- a copy typist, which is like a junior junior position -- but it gave me a foot in the door, and they knew my intention was to move up. When I got back to Chicago to pack up my apartment, the Chicago agency offered me a job as a copywriter. Not a junior job, which is normally what you go in as with no experience, but a real copywriting job on major brands. I loved SF and wanted to move there, but my stepfather, an ad guy, told me I should take the better position, which was in Chicago. I've been trying to get back to SF ever since, and I keep wondering what would have happened if I had taken that job.
MICHIGAN was the only college I applied to. I was determined to go to MICHIGAN with the best, not grovel with the rest.
My career. While somewhat serendipitous, it has turned out exactly as I had hoped. I've always wanted to work in Marketing and have full creative control over an organization's marketing efforts. I'm not wealthy, but I still love my job and its challenges.
Mrs. MaizeMN. This one is probably the best of the best. I stayed a bachelor until I was 45, waiting for exactly the (1) woman I would spend the rest of my life with. Mission accomplished.
Worst Decision: starting an MGoBlog thread about wearing a jersey to a concert.
And everything I didn't do.
I could've chosen. Sometimes I think maybe I should've joined the military right after high school. Used it to get a free education, done 20-25 years and retired with a very nice pension and a degree I could use for other work afterwards.
The other path would've been after my playing football days in college to be a grad assistant coach right away getting a master. But, stay in coaching and hopefully by now would've been a big time coach at a D1 progarm. Maybe everyone would've been wanting Kevin13 at UM instead of Harbaugh.....
Things have worked out alright though, but wonder what my life would be like if I had chosen one of those paths many years ago.
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Excellent "We're the Millers" reference.
Used to run about 5 miles a day or around 20-25 a week. Lately I just make excuses as not to run or exercise in slightest. The office work environment doesn't help.
I'm about 5-10 lbs overweight to the point where I probably go from healthy, attractive to borderline chubby, Seth Rogen-y. Diet is fairly healthy and I've cut down on the craft beer carbs but I need to find the energy/motivation to get back in shape. Open to suggestions...
Listen to the Jocko podcast and if he can't motivate you then nobody can. But really it sounds like you are almost there on your own. As Jocko would say: "get after it"!
I've been on it 6-7 years now myself and I've had so many positive benefits from it. It's not going to get you off the couch completely as you have to just do it but I went off it one time for a few months and I was the laziest I've ever been with zero confidence and motivation but you wil want to exercise just based on the results you will see.
I got seriously 2-3x the results putting in half the effort working out. I couldn't gain muscle or lose fat before getting on testosterone but now I've seen muscles pop up that I haven't seen in 25-30 years (I'm 45 years old). You do have to put in some work but the results alone will keep you motivated.
More than anything though my sex drive has came surging back from the dead. I didn't want anything to do with it for years and now I love sex again. I didn't think sex mattered much that much to me even before but since getting on T it has helped my marriage so much as my wife and I just get a long so much better and were closer too.
* key thing to know: If you do this don't go on any creams like Androgel which is what most doctors will try and put you on at first, those are crap and I know tons of guys who would say the same thing. You want to be on injections like testosterone cypionate and you want to inject a MINIMUM of 1 but preferably 2 times a week also keeping your levels high all time. Don't space them out further as you won't feel the effects. I highly recommend it!!
work for myslef thousands of miles away and.......................I couldn't be happier I made that choice.
I talked about it for years but always found some excuse not to pull the trigger than one day I said I'm leaving and started working my plan. There's a whole big world out there and makes me mad to think I wasted 37 years of my life living it within 10 miles of where I was born.
For those who feel like they need to make changes, aren't happy, want more from life, etc.....I really believe that the key to life is PROGRESS!!! It seems like I have less regrets and overall I just feel better about myself and my situation when I wake up and try and make daily progress in my life.
When I'm not working at moving forward with the things that matter to me (family, relationship with my wife, my career, health, overall personal developmemt, etc) it makes it hard to stay passionate about life.
They came out of nowhere, and I didn't know how to handle it because I had never had problems with it. I refused to address them because in my mind if I addressed them then I was making them real. Torpedoed my academic future, got worse the more I ignored it. I couldn't make it to class sometimes, and it became so bad that some exams I would just fill out without reading the questions and hand them in before I threw up on my desk in front of everyone. It took me an extra year and a half to get my BS because of how much damage I did to myself academically. I lied to everyone in my life that the reason it was taking so long was that I changed my major 3 times.
It became so bad that it started to affect other aspects of my life, and sometimes I had problems leaving my room.
I started showing up to class 40 min early just to assure myself a seat on the end of the row.
I went and saw a school therapist once, she suggested meds and I refused to get them because in my mind if I got on meds how would I ever get off of them?
Not a day goes by that I don't regret not seeking help. There were programs set up, things that could have helped me, rooms where I could take exams by myself. I was too stupid, naive, and too embarrassed to address it.
I'm much better now, but the fact is I'm not where I thought I would be in life and I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fix it.
If you are having anxiety problems in school, I assure you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Do not be embarrassed, and seek help. Never be afraid to ask for help.