A buckeye friend of mine

What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?

Dam!

One muffin says "boy, is it hot in here."  The other looks at him and says "holy shit, a talking muffin!"

 The Nina, The Pinta, The Santa Maria, I'll do ya in the bottom, while yer drinking San Grea. Nachos, Lemonheads, and my dad's boat, you wont go down cause my dick can float. We sail around the world and go port to port, everytime I come I produce a quart. Put on ya life vests let's drop anchor, there's a nice lady, oh, I'd like to swank her

"Bartender?"

He says forgive me father because I used a four letter word today. Father says oh really do you wanna tell me about it? He says sure. I was at my favorite golf course on my favorite par four hole, well he said I hit a nice long drive but it went in the woods. Father says oh thats where you used that four letter word? He says no I actually found the ball and I still had a clear shot to the green. I fired it out of there and it landed in the sand trap next to the green. Father says oh THATS where you used that four letter word? He said no no I kept my cool and walked up to find the ball with a nice lie and I pitched it out of there and got it within one foot of the cup. Father says you didn't miss that fuckin putt did you?

as they sat upon the lillipads?

'time's fun when you're havin flies'

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? 

The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts. 

Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony?

The woman who can eat the last doughnut.  

I have been in the wedding of two buckeye fans. Keep your enemies closer, I guess.