Shit Talking Buckeyes this Week

i was married to one of them, from '06 to '12.   visiting her family in columbus was always like going to a high school basketball game and sitting in the home section wearing visitors colors....  jr high level insults and taunts.  truly a classless fan base, 24/7, 365. (75 to 80% of them anyway, there are good fans who are respectful and decent.  they're just hard to find)

they live for this game and this game alone.   i mostly ignored them, but if it did get under my skin enough I'd ask if they were a fan in the '80s and '90s.  of course they'd say no.  Then I'd say, shocking, because we owned the series then.... I guess you're just a bandwagon fan.  Guess what, the pendulum swings both ways.  It will come back and when it does, you won't be a fan anymore, huh?     Then i'd say something like, wow, so even after the last decade, you're STILL another decade away from evening the series, depending on how many more wins you'll have to vacate?

Say what you feel. I saw some family this past weekend who are OSU fans, and they told me UM is going to lose and I said," They should."

At the bar, pay for the first round and say the money came from a family friend.

I like to dress up like their mascot and pick up chicks at the bar. Later, when we're having sex, I take off the head and start singing The Victors.  Then hold on for dear life.

why are you bar hopping with 7 buckeye grads? That's the question that needs to be asked and answered. 

I work with 2 of them tangentially.  I probably won't see them before the game.  After Michigan wins Saturday, I will make a point of telling them, that it sure looks like Day is the new Cooper.

The last time I talked to an OSU fan was when an assclown that reported up through me in an inside-sales role was acting like your typical Buckeye.  I walked up behind him and saw that he was using his corporate workstation to enjoy his morning by watching some hard-core porn.  I stood there dumbfounded for a minute until he noticed that I saw what was going on.  I gave him ten minutes to pack up his things and report to HR. I guess I must just be lucky to live in Chicago and not have to associate with a lot of Ohio trash. 

It is fine to talk shit to Ohio State people all year long...that said, I now take the week off before The Game...because football is the one thing that I have no basis to talk shit about anymore. (I miss the 90’s).

Name one thing we could possibly talk shit to them about?  Our record against them the past 15 years? Our zero big ten championship game appearances? Our zero playoff appearances?

Just win the fucking game. 

Every OSU fan I know runs their mouth so much that it is difficult to get a word in any way.  I might say that Michigan doesn’t have a chance as OSU never loses when they are ranked #1.  I like the talent / stars angle.  Then there’s basketball and the Apollo missions.  Yeah, I notice you guys limit the talk to football.

I try to talk shit about the overall series record. My idiot Buckeye brother-in-law responds with “what is the record in your lifetime? How about your dad? What a about your grandfather?”  It pisses me off and I talk about our 11 NCs. He comes back with “UM has 1.5 NCs in the poll era, and has never won a consensus NC after the invention of face mask.”  I hate them

Every OSU fan I know runs their mouth so much that it is difficult to get a word in any way.  I might say that Michigan doesn’t have a chance as OSU never loses when they are ranked #1.  I like the talent / stars angle.  Then there’s basketball and the Apollo missions.  Yeah, I notice you guys limit the talk to football.

Honestly, a good friend of mine graduated from OSU and he doesn’t bother with shit talk anymore.  He expects to win every year and doesn’t talk much trash.  He’ll throw out “there’s always next year for UM”  but he doesn’t get into as much as the good old days.  

Ask them to spell rivalry. They’ll be silenced all night searching their phones. 

I take it this is a work obligation so you can't get out of it.  (That would be my preferred option).

Basically you're outnumbered and since they've been in the driver's seat, there's not much to really say.  Acknowledge they have a good team.  I will do that in the limited football conversations I've had in work situations involving Buckeyes.  Also, they don't rile me up as much after 2016, where the victory was clearly tainted and I said as much to one OSU fan.   That's a lot easier to do if it's a one on one conversation, though. 

I just keep saying "echoes of '69"

they can remember

and they do look a little more worried than they did before

Shit talking?

O no, did you put the beers in a cooler?

I make sure to bring stick figure diagrams for illustration.

What ground do we have to stand on football-wise? 

Just take the abuse. If things work out, lay into 'em the next time you're out. 

I was so ready to talk trash to MSU fans, but seriously things are so bad with them that I just felt bad for them. Even though they talked a ton of trash when they were beating us with regularity, especially getting congratulated for the negative running yards in 2012(?).

But I will enjoy after we win Saturday. Their comeback will be that they still won the B1G, but whatever. Go ahead and go to the CFP and get shutout again like last time. 

Go Blue! Beat the Luckeyes!

The Buckeye fans I work with or know as friends are all telling me to expect an OSU blowout in the big house. I say,  go fuck off, it will never be a blowout unless Michigan blows out OSU.

when in doubt reference the Cooper years. If they're 35+ they still are hung up on that. It's why on twitter you'll see OSU fans desperately compare Harbaugh to Cooper. Just be like "as bad as we've had it, at least we didn't go down to unranked OSU as #2" or whatever

I would say "It's going to be a great game & it's going to be smashmouth football!" With a wild look in my eye ...!

I would remind them that there is a strict prohibition on refs caressing the asses of OSU players this time around.

Also, your reply to everything they say during the whole night should be, "69, dude!"

My neighbor four doors down is a Buckeye fan.  Strange duck.  I don't talk to him.  I generally stay away from conversing about football with known Buckeye fans because I have no counters when they start throwing jabs.  I hope this changes on Saturday.

I don’t talk to Buckeye fans. Not sure why you would. If I did I’d just invite them to go outside and play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself.