Michigan 28, Maryland 0
[Patrick Barron]
Maryland thought they were getting a primetime showdown on national TV; what they got instead was a lesson in what being a member of the Big Ten is really about. Michigan is going to walk into your building, change the start time to just after breakfast, eat you for lunch, and be home in time for supper.
Facing a slate sky whipped up by the tendrils of Hurricane Joaquin, the Harbaugh 1.4 Wolverines left De’Veon Smith warm in his Ann Arbor stable, content to use the same strategy that got the Harbaugh 1.2s past UNLV: probe the inside, pop a thing or two when it’s time to get some points, and wait for your defense to throttle the will to football out of a vastly inferior opponent.
Growing up we called this a “Schembechler win,” and we got one, but not before a first half and change that conjured memories of a far more recent former Michigan coaching tenure. From Maryland receiving the kickoff, the drives went punt, punt, interception, fumble, punt, fumble, interception, missed FG, punt, field goal, punt, punt, punt, field goal, punt, kneel out half, interception, punt, punt, interception.
At this point I asked Twitter if they preferred a recap of these proceedings or a 10-minute pasta recipe. Votes for the game did outscore Maryland, but only barely:
Retweet if you want the game recap to be about this game. Fav if you want it to be about this gnocchi in creamy tomato sauce I just made.
— Seth M. Fisher (@Misopogon) October 3, 2015
How to Make Seth’s Creamy Gnocchi
Start by pre-heating the oven to 400 and shove the meatballs in (if you want to hurry this up just nuke ‘em for 4 minutes), then put the water on to boil. In another pan I pour some olive oil, balsamic vinegar, sriracha, and—here’s the trick—a tablespoon of peanut butter. You melt down the peanut butter on medium until you have a nice brownish sauce. Add garlic too if you’re into that. When the water boils put the gnocchi in and turn down the heat.
They’ll cook pretty fast then pop to the surface, whence you’ll remove them with a slotted spoon to your saucepan. Once all the gnocchi is moved over, pour in a half a cup of 2% milk and your tomato sauce, turn the heat up to medium-plus, and cook it down until it’s getting thick-ish. Turn off the heat and let it cool until your meatballs are ready. Plop those on top, followed by your preferred level of parmesan, and you’re in business.
At this point you may relocate back to the living room to find that Michigan has scored on a screen to Drake Johnson and a jet sweep to Jehu Chesson, Maryland’s starting quarterback is on the bench, and Willie Henry is getting free hits on Daxx Garmin. Salt away with Drake Johnson runs and serve cold.
The one really bad thing for Michigan is Mario Ojemudia left the game with an apparent Achilles injury. I thought he had his best day as a Wolverine today; if it was indeed his last that is a huge loss.
The rest of your takeaways: Maryland is bad at football and should feel bad. Michigan is excellent at defense and should feel excellent. Rudock is turning out to be fine in a Krenzel sort of way. De’Veon Smith probably really is Michigan’s best back. And while there’s still plenty of 2014 left to Harbaugh out of this team, you can start believing that both Mr. Smith and MICHIGAN will be back for Homecoming.
Great coaches instill an unequivocal belief in their team that they can & will no matter the circumstance! These boys believe! #GoBlue
— Devin Gardner (@devingardnerXCI) October 3, 2015
October 4th, 2015 at 2:12 PM ^
Even before the MSU game, he was a turnover machine. His turnovers against Akron and UConn were a big reason the staff reined him in, beginning the death spiral.
October 3rd, 2015 at 5:41 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 5:52 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 6:39 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 10:30 PM ^
It's more than getting through to the kid. The kid played injured a lot, He also endured indignities on the field such as other teams targeting him when his coaches should have objected and didn't. To me, that was the biggest fail of that regime, as much as I always wanted to give the benefit of the doubt.
October 4th, 2015 at 12:30 AM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 10:05 AM ^
In the end, it is embarrassing that a guy who started 2+ seasons for you feels the need to bash you after he is gone
It's just like all jobs, football or otherwise... bad bosses get bashed. It embarassing that Michigan was stupid enough to engage in the Peter Principle and let Hoke "rise to his level of incompetence".
Bosses who are good but make a few mistakes (Carr) get the benefit of the doubt. Bosses who employees know are incompetent get just what Hoke is getting and worse.
October 4th, 2015 at 11:58 AM ^
You never know when saying something bad about someone in a public forum will come back to bite you in the ass. Keep it in your inner circle if you need to vent. You might feel better at that "Moment" but it almost always ends up being a mistake later.
I agree with 71. Hoke failed, and Gardner should have kept it in house. I love Gardner but that 30 seconds of typing made Michigan look bad. Wasn't worth it...
October 4th, 2015 at 3:33 PM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 7:58 PM ^
Buy into what? Which position? Which offensive scheme?
By all accounts, Gardner was a great kid who loved Michigan. At the same time, his talents were wasted by a coaching staff that couldn't decide what to do with him and when--so that by the end of it, he had barely developed to his full potential.
If you want to spout some inside knowledge about his attitude, go ahead. Because there's no evidence from everything out there that there was a problem there.
October 3rd, 2015 at 8:14 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 8:33 PM ^
That isn't what you said to begin with. But, OK. If you want to make something up, go ahead.
October 3rd, 2015 at 10:00 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 10:48 PM ^
So you're blaming Gardner. OK.
October 4th, 2015 at 12:24 AM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 8:31 AM ^
Carr fucked this program over. Make no mistake
October 4th, 2015 at 6:40 PM ^
October 5th, 2015 at 12:17 PM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 10:08 AM ^
Sure you do - if you've suffered calumny, libel, and slander because of the actions of your superiors... toss 'em under the bus.
Loyalty is a great quality. Undeserved loyalty is one of the worst in the world.
October 4th, 2015 at 10:45 AM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 10:52 AM ^
You're also saying no matter how bad Hoke's failure - Gardner still shouldn't say anything.
I agree with your first point. I don't agree that Gardner should keep his mouth shut.
October 4th, 2015 at 11:19 AM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 11:40 AM ^
I think you have explained it very well a few times now. Is your name Scott by chance?
October 4th, 2015 at 11:52 AM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 12:04 PM ^
I was looking at Mid- 90s football rosters and guys who wore 71. Scott was the guy below Mr. Potts. I should have asked you if your name was Jeff...
October 4th, 2015 at 11:54 AM ^
I think you're coming from a perspective that's shared by most in the college athletics world and many in the business world, but is not the perspective of most, and nor is it, I would argue, the right perspective.
Whether to speak out is ultimately an ethical question, right? On one hand, being part of an organization grants you access and a unique perspective. An enemy of that organization could use that perspective to damage the org. And one perspective inside is probably not a complete picture, so if one guy is talking and everyone else is mum the public will end up with a skewed perspective. That's why it's unethical to share secrets about the goings on of your company, your school, your program, etc.
However there is a higher level of ethics than that, and here's the disconnect. The people you're arguing with are speaking to these higher moral imperatives: that when your organization is diseased to the point where it's doing harm to itself and those who are part of it, the ethical thing to do is blow the whistle.
On both levels, we seek Truth. THAT is the moral we are serving when we keep our mouths shut about what goes on in our organizations. What I mean is that silence is NOT an ethic into itself. It is taught as such because it's self-serving; instilling silence is an effective method of protecting your organization from a few facts giving out a false truth, and of saving your own ass.
In this case, the Truth is that things were very wrong inside the Michigan program. And if ANYBODY who was around that program has absolutely proven his loyalty to Michigan and should be trusted implicitly to convey Truth about what went on in there, it's Gardner. We have had some impressive people come through this program, but he stands very high among them. If he throws shade on Brady Hoke, Hoke deserves it. If he throws shade on Nussmeier, it's because it's an open secret that the players did not trust Nuss.
These facts can no longer hurt Michigan; if Gardner spoke out a year ago it could have driven off recruits and damaged the team. But now we should all want to know the Truth of what happened to make Michigan so bad in 2014. Because what we care about more than Hoke's reputation here is that no player has to go through what Gardner did again.
October 4th, 2015 at 1:00 PM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 2:44 PM ^
The coaches are as much Michigan as Gardner. No man is more important than the team, no coach is more important than the team, etc.
I agree no coaches or players are more important than the team. Some are decidedly LESS important than others though.
The team is the sum of its parts - and sometimes some of those parts are negative.
October 3rd, 2015 at 8:12 PM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 8:18 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 5:48 PM ^
Yes, HARBAUGH is. Along with this staff.
October 3rd, 2015 at 6:34 PM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 6:12 PM ^
.....whose ceiling is lower than the ones in Bag End, this team is really, really good.
I wonder if the AP would vote for the team's offense and defense seperately, IMO their defense alone is the # 6 team in the nation. Anyway, it's nice to see Michigan back were it belongs: winning games even with a less than stellar offense, rather than losing spectacular offensive shootouts!
But seriously, I bet even Frodo ducks when he gets anywhere near Rudock.
October 3rd, 2015 at 6:31 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 6:47 PM ^
Rutgers on the other hand is stupid.
Syracuse, Mizzou, Louisville, even Pitt make more sense than them.
I do wish the NCAA would just go to eight 10-team conferences that geographically made sense. Take all the Power 5 schools, even though some don't deserve it. Then add the next best programs until you get to 80 and call it a day. Split them up geographically and play football.
October 3rd, 2015 at 7:00 PM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 5:46 AM ^
Is about as close as you get to the New York television market.
I'll disagree with you slightly. There shouldn't be a Power 5, there should be a Power 4 with 16 schools in each. Arranging things geographically as you suggest is fine with me.
Those 64 should be what is currently FBS.
The next 64 (MAC, Sunbelt, CUSA, Mountain West, most of the AAC) should be their own division with a playoff and championship structure akin to the FCS.
Let the big boys who can compete financially stay up top, and give their players a larger stipend than the second tier of FBS.
October 4th, 2015 at 9:46 AM ^
Boo 16-team conferences. There aren't enough games to see your rivals. 16 teams is a league, not a conference. I'm with you on having a separate division for what's now the "Power 5." That in fact is what Division 1 was supposed to be, and they've actually threatened the NCAA to make a "Division 4" with their own rules if they couldn't offer full cost of attendance stipends.
October 3rd, 2015 at 7:37 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 6:46 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 6:49 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 8:47 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 8:54 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 9:14 PM ^
October 3rd, 2015 at 8:52 PM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 12:33 AM ^
October 4th, 2015 at 10:23 AM ^
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October 3rd, 2015 at 10:56 PM ^
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October 4th, 2015 at 3:50 PM ^
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