Holder Garrett Moores makes it into The Onion
This is a funny idea, but perhaps The Onion picked the wrong duo for this joke. Moores doesn't need to do much consoling of Quinn Nordin. The story:
Holder Fucking Sick Of Giving Kicker Little Pep Talks After Every Missed Field Goal
September 24th, 2017 at 11:41 AM ^
Fail on the part of the Onion.
September 24th, 2017 at 11:54 AM ^
When you go for silly (as opposed to satire) you try to make the hyperbole clear by picking the worst example there is. For example, if I'm going to Mad-Lib an Onion headline like "_____ Seen Asking for Hand-outs to Raise Money for Next Album Project" I'm going to pick a name like Jay-Z who's already worth like half a billion dollars or some shit, not someone possibly going through actual tough times. In the case of kickers, find one that's on a record-setting pace (but most haven't heard of, because kicker).
People these days always have sticks up their butts so someone's going to be outraged anyway, but this is the way to go. We can laugh and say, "Oh, they obviously didn't do their homework," but I'm thinking it's quite likely they have. Bad kickers can get death threats and the Onion would want no part of that.
September 24th, 2017 at 12:33 PM ^
It's also possible that the writer actually saw the two of them together at some point and wondered what was being said and put his Onion writer imagination to work.
September 24th, 2017 at 12:56 PM ^
I can somewhat see your point but since we know that Nordin's kicking is great the joke runs flat. I guess a good analogy would be if you spoke fluent German and you saw one of the Downfall parodies.
September 24th, 2017 at 1:54 PM ^
September 24th, 2017 at 2:20 PM ^
That's like an English speaker looking at Sparty being photoshopped into the "This is fine" comic.
September 24th, 2017 at 1:11 PM ^
Normally I'd agree with you, but not this time.
Its too obscure for even the average college football fan.
Even as a Michigan fan, I didn't think it was even worth an internal chuckle.
Not even the Onion can be funny all the time.
September 24th, 2017 at 4:49 PM ^
Just saying if you were going to do this, you wouldn't pick on a kicker that just might have a gun barrel in his mouth. So you go out of your way to find the opposite.
Probably would've been better off if they just invented a team, but whatever.
September 24th, 2017 at 11:44 AM ^
#FireMoops
September 24th, 2017 at 12:14 PM ^
This one is weird. Usually they just have fake names for athletes, IIRC.
September 24th, 2017 at 12:35 PM ^
I just assume that a great deal of their staff are fans, probalby graduates. It was funny.
September 24th, 2017 at 12:58 PM ^
IIRC, it has a lot of Wisconsin grads on staff.
September 24th, 2017 at 12:47 PM ^
September 24th, 2017 at 1:55 PM ^
September 24th, 2017 at 1:36 PM ^
cut him some slack big shot!
/s