2022 michigan state tunnel assaults

[Patrick Barron]
Comment Count

133

And Then It Got Worse
Brian • October 23, 2023 • 12:48pm

10/21/2023 – Michigan 49, Michigan State 0 – 8-0, 5-0 Big Ten

Somewhere in this country there is a person making approximately minimum wage who is tasked with finding benign videos to put on scoreboards across the country. It is a hideously dull job and he or she spends most of their time at work staring blankly at a screen, half focused. When something useful shows up, it's bookmarked and put in a bin.

This person is not watching question #28 in a 40-question quiz that takes 16 minutes to get through. After the second question is "what are crayons made of" they put it in the Michigan State bin on the off chance it convinces Spartans to draw with the things instead of eating them*. Then they spend 15 minutes playing solitaire. Some weeks or months later, a jaunty Hitler shows up on the Spartan Stadium scoreboard next to an ad for Meijer.

That person did not have a bad day on Saturday. That person got fired, shrugged, and had an edible.

That person's boss had a bad day. And that person's boss, and that person's boss, and so forth and so on up the chain until we reach the Michigan State administrator who chewed out a person at Company X after being chewed out himself.

These people have living wages and car payments. Our quiz selector has… edibles. You can only lose something if you felt like you had something. The person at the bottom of the totem pole with a life of dull-eyed drudgery stretching out for eons in front of them feels nothing.

This is the bright side for Michigan State fans.

------------------------------------------------

On the other side of the equation, Michigan dominated a rivalry game to an extent not seen since the 1950s. Every box was checked: abject humiliation, fancy QB stats, taking over the opponent's stadium in the first quarter, revenge for all the various offenses perpetrated.

In the aftermath, Michigan sang a very silly song at piercing volume…

…and Mike Sainristil took 12 seconds at the end of his NBC interview—12 seconds NBC did not want to give him—to say "real quick, hey, c'mere, c'mere—real quick."

At this point the interviewer interjects with "Mikey, thanks so much" because she has been directed from on high to get this back to the studio. Mike Sainristil says no, you will not do this, and then he grabs Ja'Den McBurrows and says "the adversity he went through, what happened last year in that tunnel, to come out and have game like he did tonight—an interception, three-four tackles—Ja'Den McBurrows! Stay tuned!"

As he is doing this, JJ McCarthy is putting the imaginary crown on McBurrows, like he does everyone who scores a touchdown, or blocks for a touchdown, or happens to be in the area when a touchdown happens. It feels like he is overjoyed that he can put a crown on someone on defense for once.

Here it is: Michigan does not forgive or forget. But the way they get revenge is to go about their business. Michigan didn't endanger anyone's health or safety outside the rule book Saturday, as the Michigan State athletic department ludicrously suggested they might. They treated Michigan State just like any other opponent… mostly.

It was in the back of their heads, the way a one-sided assault on two innocent players had been both-sided by the media, the way an as-yet unsubstantiated report has caused the college football media's various MSU/OSU partisans and Medill graduates to wishcast absurd punishments on the nation's most dominant team. McBurrows responded by coming after the beatdown had commenced and simply continuing it. Michigan put German Green, Gemon's twin brother, on the field for the last snap and he came up with a TFL.

There's no need for revenge. The fact that this is Michigan's team and that is Michigan State's team is revenge enough.

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[Barron]

*[Quiz questions that get filed in the Michigan bin include "What was Erwin Rommel's fatal mistake during the Siege of Tobruk?" and "What is your most passionately held opinion you have absolutely no evidence to support?"]

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

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[Barron]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 JJ McCarthy. A confession: I do try to switch it up in the Known Friends and Trusted Agents to prevent the monotony of the same guy being at the top constantly. This is not really possible this year. Your new Heisman favorite was 21/27 for 287 yards and four TDs in 40 minutes of gametime. Agog.

#2(T) AJ Barner and Colston Loveland. Harbaugh probably thought the rapture was going on as Michigan beat MSU 49-0 and his top two tight ends combined for 178 receiving yards and three touchdowns—and it would have been four but for a Donovan Edwards flinch at the end of the half. Barner mostly shed whatever reputation he might have had as a blocking tight end with a bevy of downfield catches, some contested and others difficult. Barner continues to turn in improbable YAC events. Loveland, meanwhile, is pure death whenever he gets a LB assignment. Five points each; they deserve it.

#3 Ja'Den McBurrows. Had an interception and a TFL; had a couple more good tackles in space; dominated a slant route and only failed to get a PBU on it because the ball was wide. Given the dispersion of defensive snaps—he tied for fourth in tackles!—this is only kinda sorta about last year. Dude looked like a worthy replacement for Sainristil. As the man himself said, stay tuned.

Honorable mention: Mike Sainristil had an admittedly free pick six and, more importantly for this section, demanded that NBC not cut away until he could shout out McBurrows. Junior Colson was everywhere; Derrick Moore had a thunderous sack and only missed a second by a bare margin. Kris Jenkins and Mason Graham were entirely unblockable.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

43: JJ McCarthy (#1 ECU, #1 UNLV, #2 Rutgers, HM Nebraska, #2 Minn, #1 IU, #1 MSU)
23: Kris Jenkins (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 BGSU, HM Rutgers, #1 Neb, HM MSU)
15: Mason Graham (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 Minn, HM IU, HM MSU)
13: Mike Sainristil (T3 ECU, HM BGSU, #1 Rutgers, HM IU, HM MSU)
10: Blake Corum (HM ECU, HM UNLV, #2 BGSU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM IU), AJ Barner (HM BGSU, HM Neb, HM Minn, T3 IU, T2 MSU)
9: Roman Wilson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, #3 Nebraska)
8: Mike Barrett (HM UNLV, T3 Rutgers, #2 IU), Colston Loveland (HM Rutgers, T3 IU, T2 MSU)
7: Braiden McGregor(T3 UNLV, #2 Nebraska), Cornelius Johnson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM Minn)
6: Kenneth Grant (T3 ECU, T2 UNLV), Junior Colson (#3 BGSU, T3 Rutgers, HM MSU)
4: Ernest Hausmann (T3 ECU, T3 Rutgers), Max Bredeson (HM Rutgers, HM Neb, T3 IU), Derrick Moore (T3 UNLV, HM Neb, HM MSU)
3: Will Johnson(#3 Minn), Jaylen Harrell (HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM IU)
2:  Josh Wallace (T3 ECU)
1: Tommy Doman (HM ECU), Donovan Edwards (HM ECU), Tyler Morris (HM UNLV), Semaj Morgan (HM Rutgers),Quinten Johnson (HM Rutgers), Kalel Mullings (HM Minn), The Offensive Line (HM Minn), Keon Sabb (HM Minn), Josiah Stewart (HM Minn), Ben Hall (HM IU)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

JJ McCarthy gets set up with a third and thirteen on Michigan's first drive, gets late pressure, moves out of the pocket, and calmly nails AJ Barner to convert. In itself, not incredible. As an emblem of JJ McCarthy in this game, ah yup.

Honorable mention:  uh… everything else.

imageMARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK: SPECIAL EDITION

Since literally one thing of import went wrong AND MSU center Nick Samac deployed the double bird IN HIS OWN STADIUM, IN THE THIRD QUARTER, this section is dedicated to birds, not bad things that happened. About a dozen people @'d me on Twitter about this even before I asked, and there was a lot of discussion about replacing Marcus Hall with Samac.

I don't want to do this, because Marcus Hall got ejected from a Michigan-Ohio State game that Ohio State won; his birds were a roar of defiance. Say what you want about Ohio State but they're not ankle biters. I feel like having the bad things about a game represented by Hall is fine. My man did some dumb shit and went out on his own terms. There's a level of respect in this section.

Samac's birds were pathetic. MSU was down a billion, Michigan fans had taken over his home stadium, and per Seth's reckoning the Michigan fans' response was to sing "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow" at him. I'm not dumping Hall for this joker. Just compare the two screenshots we have. Hall is out there with it; Samac seems embarrassed, because he should be.

What I am doing: NICK SAMAC PATHETIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK. I'm not going to issue this after every game, only ones in which something unsporting, cowardly, incredibly stupid, infuriating, unethical, or downright-not-right happens. I'm guessing it'll be about a third of Michigan games and 100% of Michigan-Michigan State games.

Honorable mention: The illegal motion at the end of the half takes a touchdown off the board.

NICK SAMAC PATHETIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEKsamac

Spencer Brown gets ejected for a an ultra-targeting on Braiden McGregor:

I'd say suspend him but it's probably meaner to let him play.

Dishonorable mention: Nick Samac issues double birds to Michigan fans that have taken over Spartan Stadium up 42-0 in the third quarter. MSU takes three personal fouls in two plays in the third quarter. A cheap shot on Alex Orji gives Michigan a shot at a seventh touchdown that they take. The replay official in Iowa-Minnesota takes a Cooper DeJean punt return TD off the board for a ticky-tack invalid fair catch signal.

[After THE JUMP: JJ out of pocket]
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[Bryan Fuller]
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191

It's Who They Are
Brian • October 31, 2022 • 1:42pm

There is a place. You are next to other people from opposing clans. Sometimes they say a thing. Then, you choose. You always choose. No matter what the circumstances are, or how you feel, you still have a choice. Michigan State had that choice at halftime. Patrick helpfully documented it. This is what happens in the Michigan tunnel when the hooting starts and nobody turns around to throw PB&Js:

I know that noise, now. It is the same one from Kirk Herbstreit's video from last year's Ohio State game and the same one from the Penn State game and the same one from this video. The opposing team goes down the tunnel; Michigan is delayed; Michigan is released. And then there is a perfect thing. 125 persons, give or take, all collectively go "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH". No intelligible sentiments. Just a vibe. A vibe that is apparently driving opposition football teams insane. 

Because this is no different than what happens every week. The officials delay Michigan every time. To engage, you have to turn around. That's a choice. It's a choice two football teams made over the past year, but not Michigan State. They receive one point.

---------------------------------

I have bad news about ensuing decisions.

It is also a choice to respond to something someone said by getting them on the ground and kicking them in the head or swinging your helmet at them. I wish this doesn't have to be said, but evidently it very much does: nothing Gemon Green or Ja'Den McBurrows could have done with their mouths warrants aggravated assault. Their major sin was not being from the state and thinking that a Michigan State program that was just blasted off the field could be trusted to not beat them with helmets and cleats. They thought this was a normal game against normal people, like it was against Penn State:

They were wrong, and now they know.

Everyone knows. This is who Michigan State is and will continue to be. MSU has posted some vague suspensions, probably because the Big Ten has made it clear that "nothing" will not fly as a punishment. The fired president of the university issued a boilerplate apology that is remarkable only in its source. Even that statement seemingly enraged the already-enraged board. Six hours later the board announced that Stanley's interim successor would be named at noon today. Maybe it'll be John Engler, since it's time to circle the wagons again.

Meanwhile the rest of the MSU media sphere is either downplaying the post-game incidents, blaming the people not swinging the helmets, or straight up approving. Rivals's Jim Comparoni wrote an article blaming Jim Harbaugh—last seen not kicking anyone—that Ace has helpfully deconstructed. Here's a taste from MSU's apologist-in-chief:

Radio host Rico Beard said nothing in the aftermath except to retweet someone saying "now u want to cry." Former MSU TE Chris Baker:

image

Poke a random thread on the wretched hive of scum and villany that is the largest MSU message board on the internet and you'll get people who are 95% furious that Mel Tucker issued the same sort of boilerplate apology:

Mel Tucker is satisfied with his 95 million and has no fight left in him. Looked absolutely clownish making sure he shook Jim’s hand at the end of the game even though Jim had no time for him. And now confessing remorse without questioning Michigan’s role. He is broken. …

Stanley can choke on his mask and get fukced. GTFO already. …

If we do have a PR firm they are pathetic. The school needs to find a top notch one asap … Until we do that nothing will change in recruiting or perception of the athletics and school as a whole

I promise you that no one inside that program has an ounce of remorse this morning. The only ones who regret anything are the guys who wrote Mel Tucker a 95 million dollar check because he lucked into a Doak Walker winner buried on the Wake Forest depth chart.

Gemon Green is pressing charges, and he should, because he was assaulted by a program that has absolutely no ethics not imposed upon them by outside forces. It's not four guys who are the problem. There were dozens of Michigan State players and officials in that tunnel, and exactly none of them tried to intervene. I've been saying this for years. This is who they are.

But anyway. Bye.

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Michigan has bigger things to do this year than listen to little brother say the tunnel was too narrow and Jaden McBurrows shouldn't have been skipping.

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Nothing changes about the tunnel. It's been like that for 95 years and will be like that for another 95. If there's weaponized hooting now, so be it. It's not up to Michigan to respond like functional adults when someone does something mildly annoying. This our vibe now. Take the L, and get the fuck out of our tunnel.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

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[Barron]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 Blake Corum. 177 yards on 33 carries and was one ankle tackle away from breaking a couple of long ones. Slipped out of tackle after tackle, beefed up when it was short yardage, would not go down to the first guy.

#2 Kris Jenkins. Major factor in Michigan's two fourth and one stops, and singlehandedly rescued a couple of other plays in situations where it looked like Michigan was beat by alignment. First among many in quest to hold down MSU's ground game.

#3 Jake Moody. Night would have been a lot more nervous if Moody hadn't gone 5/5 on field goals, including a 54-yarder.

Honorable mention: Mazi Smith also had a hand in the first fourth down stop and helped stone the MSU run game. JJ McCarthy's timely scrambles converted a few important first downs. Luke Schoonmaker had a productive day as a blocker and receiver. Rod Moore helped shut down the one thing that worked for MSU and prevented any dignity drive from scoring with an interception. The Offensive Line kept McCarthy clean (no sacks) and paved the way for a 276 yard rushing output.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

35: Blake Corum (#2 CSU, #2 Hawaii, HM UConn, #1 Maryland, #2 Iowa. HM Indiana, T2 PSU, #1 MSU)
20: JJ McCarthy (#1 Hawaii, #2 UConn, HM Maryland, HM Iowa, #3 Indiana, HM PSU, HM MSU)
16: Ronnie Bell (HM CSU, HM Hawaii, #1 UConn, #2 Indiana, HM PSU), Mike Morris (T3 Hawaii, HM Maryland, #1 Iowa, T1 Indiana, #3 PSU)
13: Mazi Smith (#1 CSU, T3 Hawaii, HM Maryland, HM Iowa, HM MSU), Kris Jenkins (#3 UConn, T3 Hawaii, HM Iowa, T1 Indiana, #2 MSU)
12: The Offensive Line (#3 Iowa, #1 PSU, HM MSU)
7: Gemon Green (HM UConn, T2 Maryland, HM PSU)
5: DJ Turner (T2 Maryland), Junior Colson (#3 CSU, HM UConn, HM PSU), Luke Schoonmaker (T3 Maryland, HM Iowa, HM Indiana, HM MSU)
4: Eyabi Okie (HM CSU, HM Iowa, T1 Indiana),  Donovan Edwards (HM Hawaii, T2 PSU), Jake Moody (HM PSU, #3 MSU).
3: Derrick Moore (HM CSU, T1 Indiana), Jaylen Harrell (HM CSU, T1 Indiana), Mason Graham (HM Hawaii, HM Iowa, HM Indiana), Rod Moore (HM CSU, HM Indiana, HM MSU)
2: Roman Wilson (HM CSU, HM Hawaii), Max Bredeson (T3 Maryland), Joel Honigford (T3 Maryland), Mike Sainristil (HM Maryland, HM Indiana)
1: Braiden McGregor (HM CSU), Makari Paige (HM Hawaii), Rayshaun Benny (HM Hawaii), Cornelius Johnson (HM Hawaii), , AJ Henning (HM UConn), Caden Kolesar (HM UConn), RJ Moten (HM Maryland),

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

MSU runs six plays in the third quarter for a total of eight yards as Michigan puts the game to bed.

Honorable mention: Moody hits a 54-yarder. Snap hijinks result in a turnover. Corum is eventually the recipient on a very complicated play from the two that scores. MSU OT takes an incredibly stupid penalty on their July drive, terminating it.

image?MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

Michigan State decides to go American History X on a couple of Michigan players in the tunnel after the game.

Honorable mention: Nearly back-to-back mossings equal a quick MSU touchdown and their only lead of the game. Cornelius Johnson fumbles on Michigan's first drive. A rad Ronnie Bell catch is overturned and Michigan refuses to go for it on fourth and three, so Brad Robbins doesn't get a second straight game without a punt.

[After THE JUMP: actual football!]
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