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12/2/2023 – Michigan 26, Iowa 0 – 13-0, 9-0 Big Ten, Big Ten Champs

Two years ago this game was a coronation, a delight, a confection. Michigan broke out a halfback pass in the first half, and a reverse that went a billion yards, and sort of exuberantly leaned on Iowa until they capitulated in the second half. Michigan's lead at halftime in that game: 11.

Michigan's lead at halftime in this game: 10. It wasn't more largely because Colston Loveland dropped a pass at his facemask while a couple yards clear of the coverage, set to run a great distance down the sideline. But things felt different.

I believe it was Matt Hinton who said that Michigan fans almost didn't care about getting shredded by the Georgia buzzsaw because everything after Ohio State was gravy. As someone who attended that game and was in largely Georgia section, the "almost" is doing some work in that sentence. But it is largely correct. The disappointment faded quickly, replaced with a lingering sunset of beating Ohio State and winning the Big Ten.

Two years later, there is still that lingering sunset, yes. Especially given all the nonsense surrounding this year's edition of The Game. You KNOW I am sensitive to winning against Ohio State for the third year in a row.

But!

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Michigan is not staring down the Soon To Be Philadelphia Eagles this time around. Georgia looked kind of off kilter much of the season and lost to Alabama, which means the SP+ rankings of the teams in the playoff look like this:

1. Michigan
6. Texas
7. Alabama
11. Washington

Texas is 7.5 points adrift of Michigan. Alabama is 8.4. Washington is 13.7. I do not quite believe this, largely because Penn State ranks 4th and Michigan is getting credit for stuffing them in a locker when pretty much any top-ten defense would have done the same. Vegas installed Michigan as a mere two-point favorite over Alabama, so they don't either. But this is a huge departure from what usually happens these days, which are lines that hew so closely to SP+ projections that Bill Connelly occasionally crabs about it on Twitter. Usually the numbers are good enough to get Vegas in line, but maybe not when the numbers would install Michigan more than a TD favorite right after Alabama beat Georgia.

Or you could visualize it like this:

Every single way you can systematically evaluate college football teams has Michigan a sizable favorite to win the national title. Connelly's numbers have it 50/50 between Michigan and the field. The reasons you would not believe those numbers range from misunderstandings of the way Michigan plays football (with maximum contempt for most opponents) to legitimate but probably not sufficient to close the gap. That latter is primarily Zak Zinter's injury.

In short: it all happened. There was a month-long storm of nonsense in the middle of it but nothing could knock Michigan off their perch. At the beginning of the year, it looked like The Year:

Every single one of us has stared grimly at the wall wondering if it would ever happen. Well. Here it is. It might not happen, by by God they're gonna try.

Let's go name some wild dreams, on three.

Even in the most optimistic world this is still a coinflip for immortality. Heads or tails?

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

[Patrick Barron]

you're the man now, dog

#1 Mike Sainristil. Two(-ish) forced fumbles leading to turnovers, a near-interception, and a postgame interview that caused Mark Ingram to exclaim "oh, you polished!" Running for Senate in the future. Or maybe becoming Michigan's head coach down the road.

#2 Semaj Morgan. Did one(1) thing, and then let a couple of punts drop that were questionable decisions. But did the thing, and if people were joking about 3-0 being game, 10-0 really was game.

#3 Junior Colson. A billion tackles at the line of scrimmage… and pass breakups? Filing under Played Iowa. But still! But filing under played Iowa.

Honorable mention: Cornelius Johnson had many catches for not many yards. Mason Graham, Kris Jenkins, and Kenneth Grant stuffed the ground game. Jaylen Harrell had a TFL and a PBU; Braiden McGregor had a strip-sack that Grant recovered.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

53: JJ McCarthy (#1 ECU, #1 UNLV, #2 Rutgers, HM Nebraska, #2 Minn, #1 IU, #1 MSU, HM PUR, HM PSU, #1 OSU)
29: Kris Jenkins (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 BGSU, HM Rutgers, #1 Neb, HM MSU, T2 OSU, HM Iowa)
28: Mike Sainristil (T3 ECU, HM BGSU, #1 Rutgers, HM IU, HM MSU, #1 MD, #1 Iowa)
25: Mason Graham (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 Minn, HM IU, HM MSU, T2 MD, T2 OSU, HM Iowa) 
22: Blake Corum (HM ECU, HM UNLV, #2 BGSU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM IU, #1 PSU, HM MD, #3 OSU)
21: Kenneth Grant (T3 ECU, T2 UNLV, #2 PSU, T2 MD, T2 OSU, HM Iowa)
14: Roman Wilson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, #3 Nebraska, #2 PUR), Mike Barrett (HM UNLV, T3 Rutgers, #2 IU, T1 PUR, HM MD, HM OSU)
13: Colston Loveland (HM Rutgers, T3 IU, T2 MSU, HM PUR, HM MD, #3 OSU)
11: AJ Barner (HM BGSU, HM Neb, HM Minn, T3 IU, T2 MSU, HM PSU),
11: Braiden McGregor(T3 UNLV, #2 Nebraska, T1 PUR, HM Iowa)
10: Will Johnson(#3 Minn, #3 PUR, HM PSU, #3 OSU), Jaylen Harrell (HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM IU, T1 PUR, #3 OSU, HM Iowa)
9: Junior Colson (#3 BGSU, T3 Rutgers, HM MSU, #3 Iowa)
8: Cornelius Johnson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM Minn, HM Iowa)
7: Derrick Moore (T3 UNLV, HM Neb, HM MSU, T1 PUR),
5: Tommy Doman (HM ECU, #3 MD, HM OSU), Semaj Morgan(#2 Iowa)
4: Ernest Hausmann (T3 ECU, T3 Rutgers), Max Bredeson (HM Rutgers, HM Neb, T3 IU), Josiah Stewart (HM Minn, T1 PUR), The Offensive Line (HM Minn, #3 PSU),
3: Donovan Edwards (HM ECU, HM PSU, HM OSU)
2:  Josh Wallace (T3 ECU), Semaj Morgan (HM Rutgers, HM PUR), Rod Moore (HM PUR, HM OSU), Quinten Johnson (HM Rutgers, HM OSU)
1: Tyler Morris (HM UNLV), Kalel Mullings (HM Minn),Keon Sabb (HM Minn), Ben Hall (HM IU), Rayshaun Benny (HM PSU), Cam Goode (HM MD), James Turner(HM OSU)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Semaj Morgan sets a Big Ten championship game record for longest punt return:

Honorable mention: Sainristil forces two fumbles, the second of which sends Brian Ferentz into a conniption fit. Nobody gets hurt.

MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK

Colston Loveland drops a pass midway through the second quarter, turning a catch and run down to the 30—maybe 20—into a punt and causing Consternation amongst the Faithful.

Honorable mention: Barner drops a pass on third and thirteen that would have set up first and goal inside the five. McCarthy nearly throws an INT on a ball well behind Loveland. A Tommy Doman punt is possessed by the spirit of the corn and bounces ten yards backwards instead of ten yards forwards.

NICK SAMAC PATHETIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK

Big Ten commissioner Tony Pettiti congratulates the conference champions with a memorable speech: "…"

Dishonorable mention: The CFP committee excludes a 13-0 conference champion in favor of a team that barely escaped 6-6 Auburn a week ago.