lip curl

6/6/2021 – USA 3, Mexico 2 (ET) – Nations League Champs

Columns in this space often strive to pull out the one moment, or one feeling, from a sporting event that we can build a story around. We like our numbers but we are not robots. We're in this to feel a thing, and in most sporting events there is a defining thing that ordains misery or joy.

Here, yes, there was one. When a soccer team preserves a lead in the 123rd minute with a penalty save from a backup goalkeeper who has seen four games for his club all season—who follows that up with an exhortation to drink Pepsi Max instead of alcohol in the post-game interview—there's a defining moment. But no, it was not, because soccer games that are ludicrous fast-forward montages set to that "Having A Wonderful Time" song aren't defined by anything that simple or understandable. Now that I have children I can participate in Spongebob memery!

If you watch that at 2x that's USA 3, Mexico 2. Drunk like Ethan Horvath never is.

[After THE JUMP: Mark May appears]