kick returns

11/2/2019 – Michigan 38, Maryland 7 – 7-2, 4-2 Big Ten

A game at Maryland is always a time for contemplation of life's mysteries. Foremost amongst them is "why are we playing Maryland?" Michigan has one of these annually now: they wander out to the Eastern Seaboard to play in a mostly-empty stadium in which Michigan fans are a clear majority. The game is either a boring blowout, like this one, or an exciting blowout with third-string FB touchdowns, like 78-0 against Rutgers.

With that lone exception these games melt away almost before they're played. Here are the things I remember about other Maryland and Rutgers games, post-Hoke. One year against Maryland they ran a lot of tunnel screens that worked and everyone freaked out about it. They played a tiny guy at QB once. Rutgers got a touchdown last year. That's it. Wait: also this year people were freaking out about Glasgow because he missed a couple tackles. That's it.

The only memories these games generate is when one of these teams puts up a boggling statistical marker of ineptitude, like that time Rutgers passed for one yard against Indiana, or is forced to put an elf in at quarterback because all previous quarterbacks have been murdered by pass rushers or escaped to Bolivia to escape said fate. They are the football equivalent of pixie sticks: a sugar rush of touchdowns that don't taste like anything.

I mean, look at Indiana. Indiana is the definition of a moribund football program but you remember things about Indiana. Antwaan Randle-El. Lee Corso fielding a lateral right before Anthony Carter scores. The pure sphincter-tightening terror of playing the Hoosiers at their jet-speed #chaosteam apex. An inexplicable run of NFL tailbacks. Their sheer cussedness to both stay in and lose every game against top-tier opponents for a solid decade. Indiana isn't good but they are interesting. They are the Steve Buscemi of the Big Ten. They are great in a supporting role and then they get put in a wood chipper.

has no idea what's about to happen to him but also already knows what's about to happen to him

Indiana has personality. Indiana is a character in the rich tapestry of college football.

Rutgers and Maryland are filler. Since joining the Big Ten in 2014, the high water mark for Maryland and Rutgers was a 30-36 Maryland loss against Boston College in the Quick Lane Bowl. By the old scoring ratio rules we used way back for GopherQuest, this year's Rutgers team is on the verge of becoming the worst in conference history. They are the conference's comic relief, except when they are repeatedly abusing their players.

Michigan marks time against both of these schools every year because they get some more money from television. This era is rapidly coming to an end. In a few years it's estimated that 20% of the US population will have cut the cord, and if anything that rate is likely to go up as over-the-top providers organize themselves in a war for supremacy.

So it's a matter of when, not if, two Eastern Seaboard schools with no history in the conference and a record of absolute misery in the sport that makes the most money become a net drag on the revenues of teams like Ohio State and Michigan. It's one thing to carry Northwestern and Minnesota, and entirely another to carry the worst athletic department in the country and also Maryland.

Maybe it takes 10 years. Maybe it takes 20. But there will be a point when it makes sense to kick Delany's Folly out of the conference. Until then, a couple more of these will happen every year, gone before they're even over.

[After THE JUMP: words you've already forgotten]

On Saturday Michigan put up six points on Northwestern on the opening kickoff, a lead the defense was so unlikely to relinquish you might as well say this game was decided by a footrace between Jehu Chesson and the Wildcats' kicker. As Harbaugh described it in the presser:

“106-yard return. The blocks were sharp and crisp. Timing was nearly perfect. 10 guys, 11 guys hustling and 10 of them blocking, blocking for Jehu and he got- he is the fastest player on the team. I know Jabrill said one of the fastest but he is the fastest, and he showed it today.”

And our own Adam Schnepp got Butt on the record after yesterday's presser:

They hadn't really shown that on film where they were going to kick it there on the opening drive, but we knew they could potentially sky-kick it away from Jabrill and they did that to Jehu. We had the right return in anyway, so they kind of just gave us a counter. I had a kickout block and then we had like a wall built for Jehu. I mean, Jehu's a 10.3 100 guy. He just did the rest. You weren't catching him once he hit the open field.

I was still drawing it up when ebv posted an excellent writeup of the same. So at this point you might be sick of talking about it.

Nah.

I'll use some of his diagrams, and show you what happened.

Our Playcall: Return (our) Right

Here's how ebv made it look:

Butt (on the 20 yard line)'s block is a kickout, not a lead but that's an otherwise very accurate description. Here's my drawing:

(kickoff coverage positions noted as left or right from the kicker, so e.g. "L4" is the fourth guy to the kicker's left.)

Omigod it's POWER—like manball-flavored power running where you form a wall that caves in on their wall, kick out the EMLOS to make a gap, then throw bodies at the point of attack. I color-coded the goals of the blocks: left for seal the guy inside, green for kickout, and blue for the lead blockers.

Wilson, Kinnel, Gedeon and Houma are going to form the "wall"—they each identify a gunner and their jobs are to block down, and keep their guys sealed from the play. Bolden and Poggi double a guy who's basically the playside end. Butt comes across the formation to blow the contain open, and Chesson gets an escort into the hole from Mason and Peppers.

Northwestern's Playcall: Corner (their) Right

This is a fairly basic kickoff coverage that only messes a little with the typical man-to-man return strategy. The kicker purposely sent it to the side away from Peppers, and the gunners were tasked with closing down running lanes. Two members of the coverage team, L5 and the kicker, are back as quasi-safeties to fill any lane that may be created.

[after the jump: execution]

Last Push. We have the weekend and then HTTV's kickstarter closes. If you just want a book this is fastest and least expensive route (not counting going to an MGoEvent or tracking me down when there's a box in my car). If you want the Fingerguns shirt…

…this is your opportunity. If you want your annual purchase of HTTV stuff to go to a good cause, get in on the kickstarter, because a dollar of book orders and $5 of your t-shirt orders go to Vincent Smith's #EATING charity, which will be starting an urban garden in Flint. Pass along to friends, family, family friends, and anyone you have knowingly shared a "Harbaugh? Harbaugh." with this past year.

A lineman reviews Jake Rudock. Spath came up with a really cool idea for analysis videos: watch some Rudock film with a former player. The player he dug up was Doug Skene. The game was Iowa-Wisconsin. I plan to draw up a couple of them—would like an end analysis. One thing that stood out is he uncharacteristically went deep a lot—against Sojourn Shelton(!) #KirkFerentzTrollsIowaFans

This should be a video. Wolverine Devotee found all the Michigan punt and kick returns since 1948; unfortunately he put them in a chart instead of going down to Bentley, pouring through reels of film, and creating a Youtube of them. We'll just have to watch this one again:

Raindrops on roses and Katzenmoyer missin's. Dez in the pose and that punter needs mittens. 46 falling and sadface Germaine; that's why I watch this again and again.

Is it really that weird that Michigan hasn't had a kick or punt return touchdown in years? No.

Give Norfleet back two of three TDs he's had called back by insano refs calling ticky tack things that had no bearing on those plays and this is like any other era. The rich times were the early '90s, when Dwyane Ware blocked two within weeks, and Derrick Alexander co-existed with the guy who literally won a Heisman for being so good at returns. With return TDs such a rarity across history, two in a season is good, and more than three would be a record. Add the spread punt, which turned half of would-be punt return attempts into fair catches, and I'd bet you a lot of teams are on similar droughts.

WD also did a turf/grass/field turf study if you're nerdy enough to care about that. The only part that really interested me was dates for the different types of surfaces at the Big House:

Surface	Years	Record
Grass	1927-1968	162-72-11 (.684)
Tartan Turf (artificial turf)	1969-1981	73-8-3 (.887)
All-Pro Turf (artificial turf)	1982-1990	46-10-0 (.821)
Prescription Athletic Turf (grass)	1991-2002	63-12-1 (.836)
FieldTurf (artificial turf)	2003-2009	36-14 (.720)
Duraspine (artificial turf)	2010-present	27-8 (.771)

Etc. All you need to know to start paying attention to lacrosse. Jake Butt as James Bond wallpaper. There's only one player (and neither coach) left from the hybrid RR/Hoke Class of 2011. Ugliest Michigan gear. Couldn't get tickets for softball? Go see AFC Ann Arbor in their first-ever league game.

Your Moment of Zen:

Coaches on the road recruiting equals Northwest Airlines video:

Michigan State recruits China.