k-pop

[Lead photo HT: Tony Barnhart]

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If you're starting a voluntary child abduction company, that sounds like something with a lot of legal bits to figure out. Richard Hoeg is the man to do that. He's got a small law firm specializing in small businesses. Even if you're not planning on going into a business as fraught with complications as child… well, I don't want to say "care"…

Even if you're not going into a business as fraught with complications as child relocation, having a solid legal foundation for what you're doing will prevent problems in the future. Hoeg it up! This slogan is unauthorized.

If only. South Korea has resumed playing baseball, albeit in a modified form.

KT Wiz held a socially distant first pitch before their game today pic.twitter.com/DR0R9wulRi

— Dan Kurtz (@MyKBO) May 5, 2020

Random sports things have resumed!

We have a smoke delay, there is a building on fire near one of the stadiums pic.twitter.com/b5mUnkO10t

— CJ Fogler (@cjzer0) May 5, 2020

The Bundesliga is preparing to resume as well.

Both South Korea and Germany had no-bullshit, hardcore responses to coronavirus. This Atlantic article describes the Korean response in exacting detail. South Korea had the advantage of a preseason game, as it were, when MERS ran through their hospital system a few years ago. The government reacted with a lack of transparency and was blasted out of office afterwards. Mask wearing is culturally entrenched; idiots cosplaying as militia aren't roaming around demanding that nail salons re-open; public health is not politicized.

So they get baseball and soccer. We get nothing.

[After THE JUMP: maybe I'll start writing about old television shows]

10/26/2019 – Michigan 45, Notre Dame 14 – 6-2, 3-2 Big Ten

There are two kinds of K-Pop bathtubs. One is full of bubbles and girls who are trying their very best to embody bubbles, to become bubbles, to float away on mountains of kawaii. Often there is fruit. Or… crunchberries? Probably petals. But maybe crunchberries!

Sometimes there are donuts?

This is a nice bathtub full of nice people having a nice time and maybe there is the chance someone will have sex, or at least positive feelings about another human being, later. Breakfast has been provided for the aftermath of either.

The other kind of K-pop bathtub is a suicide bathtub. A black, wet suicide bathtub. Water drips suggestively from fingers.

The bathtub is a dichotomy. It is a font of strong emotions, positive and negative. There is no middle ground. It is shaped like a bowl, and it is wet. Michigan Stadium was both kinds of K-Pop bathtub on Saturday night, depending on who you were rooting for. Today in Mudville there are donuts and Snoop Dogg. Today in South Mudville:

The brilliant video I culled the above shots from oscillates as wildly as possible between the two states of K-Pop bathtub and is as good of a sports fandom analogy as has yet been produced.

[After THE JUMP: man hotwires floating hamburgers into existence]