the dude hierarchy
This is the look of a man seeing far too many Guys.
In college, my friends devised a system for evaluating the social contributions of the people we encountered. While based on the standard ten-point scale, it was a binary system. Greatly enjoyable people to be around were "tens"; people who actively detracted from a given situation were deemed "fours"; not everyone fit into these two categories, but they were the only two that were necessary to point out. You're a ten, you're a four, or you're just there.
Don Brown, Michigan's new defensive coordinator, tweeted yesterday for the first time since October—and, since that tweet was clearly a misfired DM, really for the first time since August. He's not a man to preoccupy himself with the frivolity of social media, not even on such momentous occasions as taking a prestigious new job that pays nearly seven figures. His handle is "@FBCoachDBrown" because he's first and foremost a football coach; his bio reads "Michigan Defensive Coordinator" because he has to put something in that field.
This is a man who generally takes a Ron Swanson approach to social media. Yesterday's tweets highlighted the lone, glaring, glorious exception.
Brown's timeline is almost exclusively dedicated to acknowledging top practice performers. They are divided into two categories: Dudes and Guys. Being a "Dude of the Day" is the highest honor one can receive in this system, which originated at Boston College:
The message boils down to three words: Be a dude.
It started with defensive coordinator Don Brown.
"That's his saying all the time, be a dude," Addazio said. "And what being a dude is is being a baller. You know? Just being a real baller. Just being a dude.
"Be great. Be a baller. Be great at what you are. Just don't be average."
Guys are players who have yet to become Dudes—note the "NOT DUDES, BUT GUYS" line in the above graphic—but are on their way. Nobody else is worth mentioning. You're a Dude, you're a Guy, or you're just there.
To me, this confims Don Brown's exceptional coaching acumen as much as anything on his resumé. He understands that a binary system is all that's needed and not everyone must fit into one of the two categories. He also understands the hierarchy of terms of address for men, which while highly context-dependent goes something like this (DON'T @ ME):
- Guv'nor
- Boss
- Good Sir
- Dude
- Sport
- Bro
- Buddy
- Guy
- Champ
- Pal
- Slugger
- Chief
Never call a stranger "chief" unless you want to be righteously punched in the nose.
In conclusion, Don Brown is better than you or me or anyone that isn't Jim Harbaugh at Twitter, and the Era of Dudes and Guys shall be a triumphant one.
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