Kendrick Lamar would like a word.
Be careful, Drake's materialistic frat bro and teenage girl fanbase might come for you.
That's fine I'll just stay away from Discovery Zone.
"Trying to strike a chord and it's really A minor"
One of the most brutal lines I've ever heard. I'd say he Ethered Drake but I never thought Ether was that good
At this prompting I just now read up on the whole KenDrake beef (on the BBC, no less!) so I wouldn't be completely out of the loop and now I'm a little exhausted
I didn't see the roast, but Dan Patrick mentioned some of the jokes this morning on his show. For example, Randy Moss asked Tom why he couldn't have cheated when Randy was on the Patriots so he could win a Super Bowl too.
TB had a pretty savage comeback for that at the end. It was something like "Randy Moss is up here asking me for one of my rings. Bitch, you'd be lucky to get a text."
It's definitely worth streaming! Just hilarious all around - but be warned that there is a lot of vulgarity involved. So if you don't like that, don't watch. Otherwise, I strongly recommend watching...
Vulgarity at a roast? Well, I never!
I watched part of it last night and the rest today. It was not something I would want to watch with my wife and/or kids. Some lines were funny and some were simply vulgar.
I thought Brady was quite good - particularly his remarks directed towards Manning and Belichick.
Poor Bledsoe!
Thought it was outstanding. Lived up to the hype.
The only thing cringy (besides Ben Affleck) was all the Aaron Hernandez referenced jokes. I was surprised how many people went after that. Should've left that alone. Nikki Glaser absolutely crushed it!
Eli and Peyton both have a good sense of humor. I was never a fan of them as players, but have grown to appreciate them in their post-playing career.
As someone who was raised in Indiana for a time, and was a massive Colts fan as a result, how could you not be a fan of Peyton the player? Dude didn't have the clutch gene that Brady had (who does?) but he was awesome to watch. Peyton made Jacob Tamme look legit for a season. Jacob Tamme!!!
As a Michigan fan, I’d argue it was hard NOT to dislike Peyton as a player. He was considered the front runner for the Heisman that Charles Woodson rightfully won. Manning’s team’s poor performance against Nebraska might’ve cost M critical votes in ‘97. And Brady and Manning had a rivalry where it was easy to pick Tom’s side as a M fan. I just glossed over Manning’s good play because it was more convenient for me to remember his failures against Florida and in many other important games in his career.
There's always Peyton's 'alleged' treatment of female staff in the UTenn locker room to fall back on as a reason to dislike him. But as a player, he was really good.
Just not as good as Charles...
I mean, Peyton definitely did that shit. Not just the sexual harassment, but then the character assassination of the victim that followed.
Also he was never shy about publicly blaming teammates for losses. He’s not a good person. Fantastic quarterback, and definitely the conversation for 2nd best of all time. But a shitty guy.
It must be personal because Peyton is one of the best to ever do it.
I never liked Draymond Green but I appreciate him as a basketball player (not as a dick puncher though)
Draymond is an interesting paradox as a player in that he somehow manages to be simultaneously both over AND underrated. As a person he remains an unmitigated bag of shit.
That will sting; right up until he looks down at his 7 fingers that are covered in super bowl diamonds.
Perhaps the sickest burn last night was the one Tom gives Eli's brother.
An aside: Randy Moss & Ben Affleck should have stayed home. Kevin Hart and Nikki Glaser stole the show for me.
What was this sick burn?
Peyton introduced Tom at the end of the night, saying "0-3 in Super Bowls..." TB returned the favor - "...you will forever be in my shadow."
Kevin Hart was funny? I'll have to look out for that
Nikki Glaser won the night
That was the most savage performance at a roast I've ever seen. She left bloody shreds all over the stage.
Nikki earned her Standing-O - her set was outstanding!
There's a joke in there. Somewhere.
After thinking about it more......"Me know that not real money".
Nikki was awesome
I thought she won the night. Flawless set.
Gronk got far more beaten down over the course of the evening than TB12 did... this was really the Gronk Roast with TB catching some strays (especially about Gisele's ju-jistu instructor, who might have been the second winner of the night). Surprised no one went after TB's hair implants, which, come on...
In fairness, I don't think Gronk understood half the insults hurled at him... LOL!!!
Touche! While I hate the Giants and Eli, I grudgingly respect only those two teams (2007, 2011).
"the eyes had been those of an unsuccessful rapist"
-Hemingway
Glaser for the win by far