mary sue coleman death stare

9/24/2022 – Michigan 34, Maryland 27 – 4-0, 1-0 Big Ten

Blake Corum hopped outside because he had no choice. There he met a Maryland safety, who deposited his shoulder in Corum's midsection. A defensive end shed Luke Schoonmaker and jumped on Corum from the side. Corum was still a half-yard short of the first down. He wore one 260-pound Terrapin like a cape; the second was trying to break him in half.

Corum took a step. He took another step. Tilted forward at a 45-degree angle, he looked like an Scandinavian World's Strongest Man competitor who has been tasked with dragging a semi the length of a football field—minus 150 pounds, a foot, and a beard you could knit a suspension bridge out of. He took two more steps, each of of them a Xeno's paradox approaching the first down marker, until finally that impossible line was breached. Eventually the whole thing collapsed into a heap, and Michigan's offense got to keep playing football.

On the sideline, I imagine Mike Hart muttered something like "ok, son" to himself. Maybe he cocked an eyebrow. In the booth upstairs, Fred Jackson left the planet for several seconds, returning only so he could proclaim the prophecy had finally come true. The tether back to this world from the astral plane whispered "you told them so," and brooked no references to Avery Horn.

It is in this way scripture is written.

-----------------------------------------------------

This year's preview clucked about exactly one Blake Corum thing:

CORUM DOES LACK ONE HART TRAIT. That would be the ability to drive a ruck of Penn State defenders six yards at a time. This is a tradeoff we'll make for the ability to dust anybody in the country not named Nakobe Dean, but it is an important thing to note in the context of this year's team.

We spent an awful lot of time slotting linebackers and other large persons into a short-yardage role. Meanwhile Corum was silently squatting several times a day until his legs could be used to hold up buildings. Once after a WTKA podcast Sam mentioned that Corum was upset that people thought he could not handle the job on third and one. Message received. Doubts removed.

But of course, the above was not the only thing Corum did in short yardage situations.

BLAKE CORUM SAID SEE YA ⚡️@UMichFootball takes the lead back before the half pic.twitter.com/BfsHZYDp2n

— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) September 24, 2022

He added another long bounce touchdown on third and four, and when Maryland did set the edge he went to work inside. He has the vision to pop outside, the discipline not to do it when it's not there, the long speed to dust safeties out of position, the jitter to dust safeties in position. He is also a very nice person.

On a day where Michigan faced an actual opponent and could have had things go the wrong way, Corum put them in front and then gave them breathing room in the fourth quarter. Several people on Twitter were complaining that Joel Klatt was saying things like "take away Blake Corum and this team would be struggling," and, well, yeah. Take away the Mona Lisa and the Louvre is just a collection of guys in silly hats. "Michigan has the best back in America is not a bug," it's a feature.

At some point opponents are going to freak out about Corum and weight will shift back to JJ McCarthy's shoulders, and that's fine. Saturday clarified exactly what is line 1 on the opposing scouting report. If McCarthy corrects from last week's wobble it's all on the table.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

 

you're the man now, dog

#1 Blake Corum. See above. Numerically: 30 carries, 243 yards. That'll do.

#2(T) DJ Turner and Gemon Green. Stared down the second-best set of receivers they'll see this year and roundly defeated them. Rakim Jarrett and Dontay Demus totaled 24 yards between them. Jeshaun Jones had 48. Everything was contested. Turner had an absurd interception-type substance. Test: passed. Full points for both.

#3(T) Luke Schoonmaker, Joel Honigford, and Max Bredeson. This space speculated in the game preview that Maryland did not have the personnel to match up with Michigan heavy sets, and it appeared that the coaching staff came to the same conclusion. This resulted in a ton of two and three TE sets that sent Blake Corum off tackle as the tight ends neutralized the playside end and then dumptrucked the second level. Two points each.

Honorable mention: JJ McCarthy did complete 69% of his passes and this is the internet. Mike Sainristil just about got in the cornerback party at #2 but he did have a critical error on Maryland's second TD drive. Otherwise, exceeding all reasonable expectations and then some. Mazi Smith had a key TFL and came on late. RJ Moten had a key interception. Mike Morris was relatively effective as a rusher and had a sack and a thumping hit.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

18: Blake Corum (#2 CSU, #2 Hawaii, HM UConn, #1 Maryland)
14: JJ McCarthy (#1 Hawaii, #2 UConn, HM Maryland)
11: Mazi Smith (#1 CSU, T3 Hawaii, HM Maryland)
10: Ronnie Bell (HM CSU, HM Hawaii, #1 UConn)
6: Gemon Green (HM UConn, T2 Maryland)
5: DJ Turner (T2 Maryland), Kris Jenkins (#3 UConn, T3 Hawaii)
4: Junior Colson (#3 CSU, HM UConn)
3: Mike Morris (T3 Hawaii, HM Maryland)
2: Roman Wilson (HM CSU, HM Hawaii), Max Bredeson (T3 Maryland), Luke Schoonmaker (T3 Maryland), Joel Honigford (T3 Maryland)
1: Braiden McGregor (HM CSU), Eyabi Anoma (HM CSU), Derrick Moore (HM CSU), Jaylen Harrell (HM CSU), Rod Moore (HM CSU), Makari Paige (HM Hawaii), Rayshaun Benny (HM Hawaii), Mason Graham (HM Hawaii), Cornelius Johnson (HM Hawaii), Donovan Edwards (HM Hawaii), AJ Henning (HM UConn),  Caden Kolesar (HM UConn), Mike Morris (HM Maryland), Mike Sainristil (HM Maryland), RJ Moten (HM Maryland).

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Corum inserts the dagger on third and short.

Honorable mention: Corum inserts another dagger on fourth and short. McCarthy finally hits that deep ball to Bell. Turner and Moten pull off excellent interceptions, mostly. Smith consumes RB in backfield for TFL.

MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

First drive of the third Q: McCarthy misses an RPO pull read on third and four, Isaiah Gash gets two yards, and Michigan punts on fourth and two in plus territory. An all-around recipe for frustration.

Honorable mention: Two Maryland fans six rows in front of me are wearing absurdly oversized baseball caps that make me irrationally upset. CJ Stokes fumbles his only carry. JJ McCarthy does a lot of running around inadvisably. Taulia Tagovailoa sits in the pocket and enjoys afternoon tea.

[After THE JUMP: bumps]