100% mauling obliteration

UFR GLOSSARY is here. Video note: I went back to Streamable because Youtube's been awful lately.

FORMATION NOTES: Saban got creative in his last coaching appearance. I called this one "Pistol TTBy (X)" for Trips to the Boundary with a covered X-receiver.

Reminder that "RB" means the halfback set up on the same side as the strength and a letter in parentheses means that player is covered. For example I called this "Single-Wing RB (Y)." There's a WR on the far left covering #45.

Michigan's passing downs exotic was that 30-wide front with a stand-up DE in the B-gap that I started calling "Crable" at some point because I'm an aughts guy.

In the 2nd half Bama started using two-back sets and setting up their RT in the backfield (they weren't calling anything this game) to give Milroe more protection. Speaking of respect…

[Patrick Barron]

Out of respect for your time and our photographers' skills I'm going to refrain from inserting too many screenshots of the Rose Bowl being gorgeous. Going from this to soulless NRG with its "Sports go sports! Who knows the words to Journey?" hype man that every person in the building wanted to defenestrate shifted my position from "It would be cool if they played the championship every year in the Rose" to "I am ready to rip up the streets of any host city that's not Pasadena."

[After THE JUMP: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh SEE-YUH!.]

Label Notes: Reminder that I’m combining all scores (except QB) in the charting. p=pass pro, y=YAC, c=catch, b=block for RBs, and route=route. It might be more than one or an odd number, in which case the higher one goes first, so if you see something like “Wilson(+3croute) that means Wilson got a +2 for a difficult catch and +1 for running a good route. Capital letters in the formations refer to skill positions: R=RB or tailback, S=superback (2nd RB), Y=inline TE, F=off-line TE, X=split end (WR on weak side), Z=flanker (WR on strong side), H=Slot.

Formation Notes: Michigan spent much of its day in Gun Wk Z Tight, which is just Twins but a WR tight to the line instead of a tight end, then mostly ran to the backside of this. As you can see in the same clip, Ohio State broke out a Bear front that I called Hurricane in the charting. The number after is how many safeties they left high, e.g. Hurricane 1:

Substitution Notes: Trueblueintexas had the snap counts. Six McCarthy snaps. Line was Hayes-Keegan-Vastardis-Zinter-Stueber the whole way (no Filiaga). All got the most important snaps but was still a little lame and Schoonmaker closed it out with Honigford and two Selzer snaps.

[After THE JUMP: Anyone who tries to make you feel bad about reveling in this is a sad person who never has to be listened to ever again.]

9/11/2021 – Michigan 31, Washington 10 – 2-0

It is not, in fact, true that the Michigan fanbase is unique amongst fanbase in its capacity to self-immolate amongst news that in any non-sports context would be taken as "good." Take it from someone who spent years writing This Week In Schadenfreude, a trip through the most psychotic reaches of college football's internet underbelly. TWIS often featured teams who had won (in the sense that their team had a bigger number than the opponent) but had lost in a much more immediate and real way (because the third-string cornerback gave up a touchdown that one time). Sports brain always works the same way.

However, your author will concede if there was a national championship for hand-wringing, Michigan would be in the playoff conversation annually. On the one hand, this makes total sense given the last seventeen years. On the other, it is very annoying. The responses I got to this tweet…

Yeah Michigan can probably kneel this game out but it's real ominous that they're acting like they have to.

— mgoblog (@mgoblog) September 12, 2021

…were split between "this tweet is annoying" and replies like "JJ MCARTHY NOW" that I found annoying. Sports tweeting is like driving: the only appropriate speed to be going is exactly the speed you are going. Everything else == jail.

In the cold, hard light of day on this Monday I can see both sides of the equation. Yes, it is pretty good that Michigan took a P5 opponent with some recent history of being a good defense and paved them in a way I haven't seen in a long time. On the podcast I referenced the 2019 ND game, but even that featured a large number of stuffed runs interspersed with big plays based off misdirection. In this game if Michigan didn't get four yards on a run it was a surprise. When's the last time that happened? Probably at some point when honorary captain Steve "Not Aidan's Dad" Hutchinson was roaming the field. And honestly, my recollection of Lloyd Carr offenses doesn't have anything like this in it. This felt like a game from the 70s.

Yes, it is pretty bad that Michigan seemed to have an aversion to passing that was also out of the 1970s. You can say this makes sense given the game context, and maybe it did. But it nonetheless feels bad when you end up in situations that are obviously passing downs and then barely pass. It conjures up ideas about what the offense will look like when it inevitably runs up against a team that doesn't get paved.

You can be forgiven if the internet has beaten this fact out of your head but it is possible to hold both of these thoughts in your head at once. I am not immune to this, either, despite my clucking. On the podcast I said that I didn't think this offense could beat Ohio State, and then immediately apologized because my expectations going into the season weren't "beat Ohio State," they were "ehhhh… bowl eligible?"

This is the grandeur and glory of sports fandom: you literally never have to be sane or happy. You can hop from grumbling about 7-5 to grumbling about 9-3 to grumbling about beating a P5 team by 21 in a game that wasn't actually that close, spiritually. These avenues are open to you, and you can take them, and anyone not going at your speed will seem insane. But also you can literally never be dissuaded from optimism. There was a certain kind of Cubs fan who thought this was the year, every year, and anyone not going at that speed was insane.

So you get these camps of people and give them a common allegiance and a way to communicate to each other and you get a great firestorm of anger in the midst of Michigan grinding a name brand Pac-12 school into a fine dust. Here too there is a choice. This is what is great about sports; this is what is stupid about sports. If you sit very still in a forest for several months you will find they are the same thing.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

mmm dump truck holes [Fuller]

you're the man now, dog

#1 Your Offensive Line. This column generally punts on specific OL for this section because it does not have time to form an opinion on every dang guy; that's a process that requires UFR. So when the OL needs to be in this bit of the column they get it as a unit. Their placement here should be self-explanatory. If you need an explanation: 345 rushing yards on 55 carries.

#2 Aidan "My Dad's Name Is Chris" Hutchinson. 2.5 sacks and down-to-down terror whilst being frequently matched against a tackle that people think could go in the first round of the draft. One of the lingering Qs from the WMU game was whether Hutchinson could be an every-down problem. The answer appears to be an emphatic yes.

#3(t) Hassan Haskins and Blake Corum. 155 and 171 yards, respectively, maybe not a missed cut between them, and plenty of yards generated themselves after the OL set them up. Full points for both! They're made up and don't matter!

Honorable mention: Mazi Smith got a ton of push on the interior. Josh Ross was quite a bit more active and ended up with 11 tackles, a TFL, a PBU, and three hurries. Brad Robbins had 4 punts with a 46 average and one return for four yards. Jake Moody had a 52 yard field goal and put almost all of his KOs out of the endzone.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

8: Ronnie Bell (#1 WMU), The OL (#1 Wash), Blake Corum (#2 WMU, T3 Wash)
6: Aidan Hutchinson (HM WMU, #2 Wash)
4: Hassan Haskins (HM WMU, T3 Wash)
3: Dax Hill (#3 WMU)
1: Andrew Vastardis (HM WMU), AJ Henning (HM WMU), Mike Sainristil (HM WMU), Brad Robbins (HM Wash), Jake Moody (HM Wash), Josh Ross (HM Wash), Mazi Smith (HM Wash)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

lol nope [Barron]

Blake Corum. Meep meep.

6⃣7⃣ yards, untouched.@blake_corum runs by Washington for the game's first TD. pic.twitter.com/MpKgi8ahBZ

— Big Ten Network (@BigTenNetwork) September 12, 2021

Honorable mention: Pick anything off the third quarter drive that was seven runs, zero passes, and a touchdown. John Donovan calls a run play on fourth and four. McNamara and Cornelius Johnson execute an excellent back shoulder throw to convert third and long.

​MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

This one goes out to the people in the crowd booing when Michigan was up 10-0. Yeah, some frustrating playcalling. Let's get it together.

Honorable mention: Haskins is stuffed on fourth and goal from the one. Various McNamara dropbacks go Not Well.

[After THE JUMP: successful coordination, shirts edition; unsuccessful coordination, football edition]