OT: Elevator Ride
January 21st, 2018 at 1:34 PM ^
wtf??
January 21st, 2018 at 2:05 PM ^
Dave is just cranky because the elevator took all of his daily naptime
miss the good weird threads until a few days later...
January 21st, 2018 at 1:37 PM ^
I have often thought of getting stuck when getting on elevators. I’m sure you could sue in today’s world, but if you are unscathed let it go as an honest mistake. Be grateful you didn’t have to go to the bathroom in the corner.
January 21st, 2018 at 1:37 PM ^
TMI dude, TMI.
January 21st, 2018 at 3:41 PM ^
In my opinion, if while on a falling elevator Cranky Dave can:
1. Realize you are falling to your death
2. Get consent from the female co-occupant
3. Undress (at least unzip)
4. Get erect
5. Get in position
6. Achieve insertion
7. Finish
Then no, it should not be considered cheating. Because unless you are on the 999th floor of a 1000 floor building, you'll need to accomplish all that in about 20 seconds or less, which would be...impressive...
January 21st, 2018 at 1:38 PM ^
What if you had to take a leak AND a woman was in the elevator?
You have a foot in the door in regards to last-ditch-effort-sex. The only place from here is up and up and up!
January 21st, 2018 at 2:04 PM ^
Are we talking about the elevators at Nakatomi Plaza?
January 21st, 2018 at 2:07 PM ^
...except that urinating in the corner before engaging in sex, even under the most dire of circumstances, just seems like it would kill the mood. However, in the most dire of circumstances, I suppose that some people would not be terribly picky about mood.
January 21st, 2018 at 1:39 PM ^
The very definition of "Wham, Bam..." without the time to say "thank you, ma'am."
January 21st, 2018 at 1:42 PM ^
Your wife is nice
January 21st, 2018 at 1:43 PM ^
That hadn’t even crossed my mind...
January 21st, 2018 at 10:03 PM ^
You don't know the half of it!
January 21st, 2018 at 1:42 PM ^
you made a conscious choice to push the elevator button.
January 21st, 2018 at 1:44 PM ^
I got stuck in one for 40 minutes alone . No one answered the call and no phone reception ! I hate elevators now . I flipped out when I got out
January 21st, 2018 at 1:44 PM ^
stairs exist for a reason
January 21st, 2018 at 7:07 PM ^
in a stairwell with a consenting women? That would be better for the sex part. You would have time for a glass of wine and snuggle after the sex.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:03 PM ^
Rob Wolchek?
January 21st, 2018 at 1:50 PM ^
For folks complaining there's too many MSU posts, this is the alternative
January 21st, 2018 at 2:30 PM ^
How about neither? We have a great basketball team this year let’s talk about that.
January 21st, 2018 at 1:56 PM ^
I live on the 6th floor of my building, and one night last week there was a terrible storm and the electricity kept going on and off, like four times an hour from 10 pm on until after I left for work in the morning. When I woke in the morning I heard people using the elevator. I was in shock. The idea of the electricity going off at any moment while in there terrifies me. I took the stairs down in the morning and was really nervous for the next day and a half when going up. It's a tiny elevator and there's no cell service in there.
January 21st, 2018 at 1:58 PM ^
This post is just wrong on so many levels.
January 21st, 2018 at 1:59 PM ^
this place is on the upswing. Between this ridiculousness and the camping thread, I have been getting some needed laughter today.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:06 PM ^
Maybe this OT season we should start a weekly segment where can all vote off one OP? Although I would like it to be narrated by the same guy that's on the actually show.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:05 PM ^
lady's lingerie
Oh, good morning Mr. Tyler, going down?
January 21st, 2018 at 2:24 PM ^
That was one of my favorite songs/videos growing up.
True story, I work at Cedar Sinai hospital a lot. One day about 5 years ago I was walking to the elevator bank to head up to a meeting. As I approached one of the elevators I could see that it was full so I was going to wait for another one. Just before the door closed I noticed Steven Tyler standing in it right out front. I was stunned, didn't expect to see that. Right as the doors were closing he smiled and gave me sort of a head nod, then the doors closed. I just couldn't believe that happened. Not sure if it was going up or down.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:53 PM ^
Similar but different: I used to have an Alfa Romeo Graduate. One day I was taking a left turn on to Michigan Ave in Chicago with the top down and Dustin Hoffman was in the crosswalk, so I had to wait for him to cross. He gave me the same look that Steven Tyler gave you. It was awesome.
January 21st, 2018 at 3:07 PM ^
Ha. That is great. Too bad it wasn't Mrs. Robinson.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:08 PM ^
I would only have sex with a stranger if the guy was great looking and in love with me.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:18 PM ^
How would a stranger be in love with you?
January 21st, 2018 at 2:51 PM ^
Exactly.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:29 PM ^
Today is your lucky day. I think I am quite attractive. Cross between Bradd Pitt and Rob Lowe. The best part is my love making lasts about an hour, albeit 59 minutes of that is apologizing.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:20 PM ^
When I lived in Chicago I lived in a "medium rise" ~35 story building in Old Town. One night not sober I got into the elevator heading up to my 30th floor. I have no idea why I did this, but I stuck my fingers inbetween the doors and tried to pull them open to see what would happen. What hadda happened was the doors opened maybe a few inches and the elevator stopped.
So here I am drunk at about 1am stuck between floors 19 and 20. I spent probably 20 minutes in it while they scrambled the poor maintenance worker out of bed to come help. He was able to open the doors fully but the elevator was sort of between floors. I had to stage dive out and tumble to the ground.
I pretended I didn't know why it stopped. I felt terrible and embarrassed to both lie and to have that poor guy get out of bed in the middle of the night to help me.
There, I feel much better now. Go Blue.
January 21st, 2018 at 3:38 PM ^
Posted twice, sorry.
January 21st, 2018 at 3:39 PM ^
That maintenance worker has probably told the story about you several times, though.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:21 PM ^
When the choice is sex with a stranger or Death, I always find myself saying, “So, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself.”
January 21st, 2018 at 3:34 PM ^
You misunderstood. The elevator is falling. Not sex OR death. Sex AND death versus just death.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:23 PM ^
There’s no question you have a case. Just like Seinfeld. Skip to 58 seconds into the clip for his excuse to the cop
https://youtu.be/OG6b7KJ1Ah0
January 21st, 2018 at 2:28 PM ^
please please please somebody for god's sake delete this thread
January 21st, 2018 at 2:30 PM ^
There's nothing wrong with filing suit if you feel wronged either physically, emotionally or financially.
If you feel any of those things you have every right to fight to be made whole.
People who think filing suit is frivolous all the time are completely wrong. Prosecuting is almost the last line of defense to keep big businesses honest and decent. Especially in this political environment.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:31 PM ^
Of the old proverb “ better not to start a thread and be thought a fool than start a thread that confirms it”
January 21st, 2018 at 2:43 PM ^
You pissed in the elevator? And you want to sue someone? The hell is going on in this country?
January 21st, 2018 at 2:46 PM ^
I had to piss but as I said I made it out without incident
Also I didn’t want to sue. The security guard asked me if I wanted to. I’ll admit the OP was bad in hindsight but I think so e people misread it.
January 22nd, 2018 at 5:40 AM ^
I don't think it was bad. I always like a good elevator story.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:48 PM ^
I don't think consent from your wife is how actual consent works.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:51 PM ^
Why wouldn't you piss on the doors, I've a feelin the piss would find the cracks and make it's way out of the elevator.
Have I thought about this too much? Probably so.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:53 PM ^
Superman could grow a woody in a plunging elevator...
January 21st, 2018 at 2:59 PM ^
Lois Lane didn't call him the man of steel for nothing, you know.
January 21st, 2018 at 2:55 PM ^
Interesting your wife knows you can perform sex in the time it takes an elevator to plummet