2017 Season Review

Submitted by THE_KNOWLEDGE on
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for newcomers to these pages, THE KNOWLEDGE appears to be a mystery
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however, the old timers know that THE KNOWLEDGE is unknowable, and can only be understood by his projection on these very pages
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yes
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many have been the "predictions" and "projections" of the upcoming season and Michigan's results
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these prognosticators, however, only make guesses as to the future, and hence, these predictions are of only comedic value
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THE KNOWLEDGE, however, knows not only the future, but the information about the future. thus, THE KNOWLEDGE only reveals the future in the present
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yes
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THE KNOWLEDGE shall now reveal the 2017 regular season results for Michigan football
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Michigan will not go undefeated this season, but will finish 11-1
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all 3 OOC conference games will be won, and a conference game will be lost
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in the upcoming weeks, THE KNOWLEDGE may decide to reveal who that loss will be to
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yes
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those that follow THE KNOWLEDGE are worry free, as they know the results previously
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but, there are still those that doubt THE KNOWLEDGE, and worry about the results of every game
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they may continue questioning THE KNOWLEDGE, but when time moves making the future the past and these revelations come true
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THE KNOWLEDGE shall soar
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leaving every doubter in a trail of dust
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yes
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Comments

ST3

September 1st, 2017 at 7:42 PM ^

What once was, will be again. This team reminds me of many a young Schembechlerian squad that started slowly only to finish the year as a top 4 team. However, ESPN and that Dr. Pepper vendor guy have broken the wheel. A top 4 finish now gets you an invitation to the CFP.

Michigan will not waste that opportunity 31-0 against Clemson. NO.
Michigan will not waste that opportunity 49-0 to Alabama. NO.
Michigan will seize the opportunity. YES.

It was all pre-ordained when Harbaugh added the US and Italian flags to THE helmet for the spring game. The Pope further blessed this team with good fortune. YES.
So it is written. So shall it be.
13-2, Big 10 Champions and National Champions.
YES.

MichiganTeacher

September 1st, 2017 at 9:27 PM ^

I am glad to see THE_KNOWLEDGE return.

Time is a dangerous place to wander.

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yes

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Maybe just tell me if the USMNT qualified for the 2018 World Cup?

Mr. Elbel

September 1st, 2017 at 10:16 PM ^

Doesn't matter. I can know the results of a game and still get nervous as hell. This will be proven this weekend as I can't watch the game, so I'll find out the score later and then watch the whole game on YouTube. And I'll still be a nervous wreck no matter what. Still...i appreciate your always accurate insights from the future. Sorry that your gift to us could not be adequately used to calm my nerves.

vulture

September 2nd, 2017 at 12:04 AM ^

Honestly you had an egregious typo that I was about to pounce on but I decided to keep reading to the end.  After I finished reading I went back to copy and paste the typo and it was gone.  How did you know?

Roc Blue in the Lou

September 2nd, 2017 at 1:36 AM ^

We all bask in the unmitigated glory of your revelations.

Yes.

But is there not a way, oh seer of things to come, for mighty Meeeeeeeeechigan to alter the order of things to come and mystically transpose that single error to, say, 2018???

Hotel Putingrad

September 3rd, 2017 at 2:00 AM ^

PSU is probably a loss, but we should run the rest of the table. it'll be a 3-way tie for the division, but I think we make the CFP. Speight showed enough to get us there, though not quite enough to win it all, once we do.

My name ... is Tim

September 4th, 2017 at 9:50 AM ^

I know that some haters on here will claim that THE KNOWLEDGE has been wrong before and has not soared on occasion, but it is they who are wrong.

First, let us presume that THE KNOWLEDGE is capable of astral travel, transversing both time, space and dimensons, a fairly straightforward and non-controversial assumption given that THE KNOWLEDGE has, previously, gone to the future and provided us statements that were accurate. Then let us also assume that we are just a part of one of many possibile universes within an infinitely large multiverse where all possibilities and outcomes exist in one universe or the others. With these assumptions, it is undeniable that THE KNOWLEDGE is right. THE KNOWLEDGE is always right - always has been and always will be. You are just too myopic to see it. THE KNOWLEDGE sees it all.