wilton speight

[Bryan Fuller]

Previously: Krushed By Stauskas (Illinois 2014), Introducing #ChaosTeam (Indiana 2009), Revenge is Terrifying (Colorado 1996), Four Games In September I (Boston College 1991), Four Games In September II (Boston College 1994), Four Games In September III (Boston College 1995), Four Games In September IV (Boston College 1996), Pac Ten After Dark Parts One and Two (UCLA 1989), Harbaugh's Grand Return Parts One and Two (Notre Dame 1985), Deceptive Speed Parts One and Two (Purdue 1999)

Week One: 1993 Washington Part OnePart Two2002 Washington Twitch stream

Week Two: 2011 Notre Dame Part One, Part Two, Twitch stream

This Game: Full game, highlights, box score

MGoBlog Coverage: Preview, punt/counterpunt, recap, game column, GIFsUFR offense, UFR defense

I got started on this before the FOOTBALL BACK announcement, so I'll finish out the "non-conference" schedule over the next week while turning my focus to season preview content(!). After some consideration, I decided to look for a game that didn't have a deeply stressful ending. This one merely has a deeply stressful beginning.

Despite both teams getting off to dominating 2-0 starts, #4 Michigan and unranked Colorado aren't expected to play a particularly competitive game in week three of the 2016 season. The Buffaloes finished the previous year 4-8 and dead last in the Pac-12 South for the fourth straight season. Head coach Mike MacIntyre is in his fourth year and on thin ice. The first two weeks change the expectations from "abomination" to "a football team":

In this context a rousing blowout of in-state rival Colorado State does mean something. They squeezed by a 7-6 CSU team last year and spent big chunks of the last decade actually losing to them, so roaring out to a 30-point first-half lead and coasting the rest of the way is a notable improvement no matter how off this year's Rams are. How much improvement is an open question, but they could be a 6-6, 7-5 type outfit headed to Shreveport or wherever.

Vegas expects them to be Michigan's stiffest test to date, with a line more than two touchdowns closer than the UCF game. This shouldn't be close, but it should be a football game.

Vegas favors Michigan by 19.5 points. Here are the lineups, courtesy of 2016 Seth [click for big]:

Michigan offense vs. Colorado defense:

Colorado offense vs. Michigan defense:

Michigan enters this game banged up. After the typical obfuscating from Jim Harbaugh and the typical lack of a Wolverine depth chart, Michigan eventually fields a defense down two starters (CB Jourdan Lewis and DE Taco Charlton) and a key backup (DT Bryan Mone). In response to the uncertainty, Colorado issues a game week depth chart that would've been funnier if they hadn't explained all the jokes. Harbaugh gets peeved about it, giving us a controversy silly even by college football standards.

"I saw the depth chart," Harbaugh said. "I was trying to imagine how many people sat around and how many hours they worked on that. We've just found, I mean, when it comes to the depth chart, modern technology seems to have made the depth chart an outdated task by about 20 years. We've found studying last week's film of the opponent is the most accurate way of determining another team's depth chart."

And the jokes were bad!

With all of that out of the way, BTN is kind enough to show (most of) the Wolverines take the field.

Your announcers are Kevin Kugler and Matt Millen, possibly returning from The Joker's funeral.

Let's do the football, after THE JUMP.

Georgia Tech game, 1918

[Lead photo HT: Tony Barnhart]

Sponsor Note. If you've got a small business this is a good time to have a lawyer check out your Ps and Qs. If you're starting one there's no time like the present to get yours off the ground. Here's an idea: drive around picking up children and taking them somewhere. It doesn't matter where. Just, you know, away. You can bring them back if you want. Later.

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If you're starting a voluntary child abduction company, that sounds like something with a lot of legal bits to figure out. Richard Hoeg is the man to do that. He's got a small law firm specializing in small businesses. Even if you're not planning on going into a business as fraught with complications as child… well, I don't want to say "care"…

Even if you're not going into a business as fraught with complications as child relocation, having a solid legal foundation for what you're doing will prevent problems in the future. Hoeg it up! This slogan is unauthorized.

If only. South Korea has resumed playing baseball, albeit in a modified form.

Random sports things have resumed!

The Bundesliga is preparing to resume as well.

Both South Korea and Germany had no-bullshit, hardcore responses to coronavirus. This Atlantic article describes the Korean response in exacting detail. South Korea had the advantage of a preseason game, as it were, when MERS ran through their hospital system a few years ago. The government reacted with a lack of transparency and was blasted out of office afterwards. Mask wearing is culturally entrenched; idiots cosplaying as militia aren't roaming around demanding that nail salons re-open; public health is not politicized.

So they get baseball and soccer. We get nothing.

[After THE JUMP: maybe I'll start writing about old television shows]

man o nam [Bryan Fuller]

Sponsor Note. It's that time of year again! The time of year when, overcome with some nonsense on the final play of a game, you wander into the street after one or several too many and do regrettable things to BoJack Policehorseman that land you in the slammer. And I cannot emphasize enough: if this happens do you DO NOT CALL RICHARD HOEG, LAWYER. hoeglaw_thumb[1]_thumb (1)

Mr. Hoeg isn't that kind of lawyer. He cannot get you out of a jam. He does not know any bail bondsmen. He can file incorporation papers for you, which is of absolutely no use when you are being held in the county lock-up for shenanigans that, while delightful in the moment, are certainly illegal.

HoegLaw could talk to you about Michigan's prospects in the NCAA tournament after the precipitating events, and that's not nothing, but really if you're going to call HoegLaw it should be because you want someone to look over a contract, or draft one, or help you when an existing contract goes sideways. These are his areas of expertise.

So I must repeat: if you find yourself in jail, remember this number: (734) 263-1001, because under no circumstances should you call it.

TEN YEAAAARS. Ten years ago today on this here site:

MBB: So… you look good.

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Tourney: Thank you, you may have, uh—

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TEN YEARS, MAN! TEN! Where have you been for ten years?

MBB: I freaked out… hired Brian Ellerbe. Recruited Avery Queen and Kevin Gaines and Maurice Searight. Got put on probation for kids taking money from a Detroit gambling kingpin. Fired Ellerbe and hired a guy who took a Sweet 16 team that returned virtually everyone and added an NBA lottery pick to the NIT: Tommy Amaker. Recruited Anthony Wright and Kendrick Price and Reed Baker. Turned the ball over on every other offensive possession for six years. The one year I was going to be back everyone got injured and the starting point guard got suspended for some sort of domestic violence thing. Walk-ons started at point guard. Then I hired John Beilein. We have basically one guy taller than 6'5", we still have walk-ons at point guard, and we're here.

It is impossible to overstate how much different the basketball is now. It is very different.

If you'd like a less silly take on Michigan's first bid in a decade, The Athletic's Chris Burke may be your speed. You may remember that those rat bastards announced the field such that Michigan was the very last at large team announced:

A little after 6:30 p.m. ET, a good half-hour after the Selection Show began, Gumbel brought CBS back from break and introduced the South Region. The final quarter of the bracket. Realistically, there were five spots — seeds 8 through 12 — where Michigan could land, but at least two of those were reserved for the remaining mid-major conference-tournament champions and their guaranteed bids.

The 8-9 matchup came and went (LSU vs. Butler), as did the 12 seed (Sun Belt champ Western Kentucky). CBS’ graphic shifted down to the bottom half of the bracket to reveal an Oklahoma-Morgan State matchup at 2-15.

Gumbel kept rolling. “The No. 7 seed in the South, the Clemson Tigers, the seventh team out of the ACC. Oliver Purnell has now led three different schools to the NCAA Tournament …”

Call it a premonition, call it desperation, but as Gumbel read through his Clemson blurb, a buzz grew in the Crisler crowd. Maize Ragers jumped up and down, with shouts of “Come on!” and “Let’s go!” as if it were possible to will Michigan into the bracket. Sims started clapping along. Harris and senior forward Jevohn Shepherd leaned back, Shepherd with his hands on his head.

“… And they will face, coming out of Ann Arbor, the seventh Big Ten team, the Michigan Wolverines.”

I was dying for this whole period.

[After THE JUMP: a different world man]