punt block

[Paul Sherman]

11/20/2021 – Michigan 59, Maryland 18 – 10-1, 7-1 Big Ten

There's something about playing Maryland that causes the details to evaporate immediately after the game. Things I remember from previous Maryland games: they played a tiny quarterback once, there were some annoying screens, the end. Rutgers has at least had the decency to be memorably bad (and yes occasionally feisty); Maryland is forgettably bad unless you are Texas.

I will make an effort to remember the throwback kick return touchdown, but it will be an effort. Mentioning the kick return has caused me to remember that Michigan returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown in this game a few years ago, so there's a third thing. Fourth thing. Whatever. Those screens were really annoying, though.

This game in particular evaporated like the haze after a dream. Michigan was up some points, and then they were up a lot of points, and then slightly fewer, and then Alan Bowman was chucking passes to a guy named "Will Rolapp," who is from Connecticut and seems very nice. If you concentrated you could remember various sequences that led to the absurdly lopsided score, but only one at a time. The others shimmered out of focus as soon as attention wavered.

------------------------------

The thing that is likely to stick longest is Mike Locksley looking on at his charges with a series of facial expressions that started out at exasperated and quickly elevated to day three of potty training. On day three of potty training you have been in the bathroom for three days and the child is still wandering around like a ticking time bomb, oblivious to any of the rules laid out over the previous, grueling 48 hours. There is a high probability the child will stand there with a stupid grin on his or her face while evacuating a bladder as you moan something along the lines of "in the potty! IN THE POTTY! WE HAVE BEEN OVER THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THE PEE GOES IN THE someone get me a drink right now GOT DARNED POTTY!"

This is when you give up and try again later, in my experience, but Mike Locksley can't just put some sort of cat-themed cartoon on for his players and then go stare at a wall with a glass in both hands. I mean, not in the third quarter. He obviously did that after the game. The only entertainment option on the flight home was a tween in cat ears turning into a cartoon version of herself so she can go play in her cat doll house. The team was fine with this—enraptured, even. Mike Locksley sat in the first row with a bottle of whiskey strapped into the seat next to him. Locksley said nothing for the whole flight, and his only motion was occasionally bringing the glass to his mouth. The lone exception is 45 minutes into the flight, when something between a shudder and a sigh trembled out of his lips. Then back to stone silence.

I guarantee you this is exactly what occurred on Saturday night. There are no other options.

But in the third quarter Mike Locksley is contractually obligated to continue day three of potty training into the undiscovered country of day four. Then cameras will cut to him after his quarterback scrambles wildly, then hurls a ball directly to the chest of a Michigan defensive back, then inexplicably stops instead of pushing said defensive back out of bounds. The defensive back will subsequently score a touchdown.

It is at this point that Mike Locksley will invent entirely new levels of disappointed dad face. Muscles will contort into heretofore unknown arrangements in order to communicate pure agony. You can see the man calculating what boarding school will cost, and whether he can afford both it and the country club. A thought flickers but no, it is too late to put them up for adoption, that is probably not legal.

There's nothing for it: one can only endure, and contort. Endurance is all. Contortion is required. Stoicism is impossible but given everything that's going on any reaction short of Falling Down is a noble endeavor. Mike Locksley got home late Saturday night, and sat down, and had not committed any crimes. Well done, sir.

Anyway, it's Ohio State week. We're all Mike Locksley now. Stay safe out there.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

51694298656_21103728bd_k

[Sherman]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 Donovan Edwards. Donovan Edwards caught ten passes for 170 yards, surpassing any single season of Chris Evans's career in a single game as a true freshman. This is simultaneously wonderful and encouraging since Edwards is clearly a Weapon that must be accounted for by trying to Cover Him With Linebackers and that is Never Going To Work, and also WHAT WERE WE DOING WITH CHRIS EVANS FOR FOUR YEARS HE'S IN THE NFL NOW JESUS CHRIST

/breathes into paper bag

#2 Aidan Hutchinson. Breaking the duo up this week since Hutchinson had a TFL and a PBU, the TFL on fourth and two, while Ojabo was fairly muted except for a hold he drew. Hutchinson again made the PFF team of the week, and had five solo tackles as a DE.

#3 Cade McNamara. 9.3 YPA, 2 TD, 0 INT. Yes, disproportionate chunk came on the long TD but McNamara feathered that in there so Edwards didn't have to break stride. That YAC is partially his. Did get bailed out a wee bit by his receivers and alarmingly thunked two passes into OL helmets, but 21/28 for 259 yards in three quarters… eh, I'll take it.

Honorable mention: Mike Sainristil and Andrel Anthony only caught one pass each but both were 1s on the UFR charting so here you go, it's a point. Michael Barrett's throw across the field was perfect. Matt Torey blocked a punt.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

47: Aidan Hutchinson (HM WMU, #2 Wash, #1 Rutgers, #1 Wisc, HM Neb, #2 NW, T3 MSU, T2 IU, T1 PSU, #2 Maryland)

30: Hassan Haskins (HM WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU, #2 Neb, T1 NW, #1 IU, #2 PSU)

21: David Ojabo (#2 Wisc, T3 MSU, T2 IU, T1 PSU)

18: The OL (#1 Wash, #1 NIU, HM Neb, HM NW)

17: Blake Corum (#2 WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU, HM Neb, T1 NW)

13: Cade McNamara (#1 MSU, HM IU, HM PSU, #3 Maryland)

11: Donovan Edwards(T2 NIU, #1 Maryland)

8: Ronnie Bell (#1 WMU), Brad Hawkins (#1 Neb), Dax Hill (#3 WMU, HM NIU, HM Rutgers, HM Wisc, HM Neb, HM MSU)

7: Brad Robbins (HM Wash, #3 Rutgers, HM Wisc, HM PSU), Josh Ross (HM Wash, HM NIU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM NW, HM PSU)

6: Nikhai Hill-Green(HM NIU, #2 Rutgers), Jake Moody (HM Wash, HM Wisc, #3 Neb, HM MSU), DJ Turner (#3 NW, #3 PSU), Andrel Anthony (#2 MSU, HM Maryland)

5: Cornelius Johnson(HM NIU, HM Wisc, #3 IU)

4: AJ Henning (HM WMU, #3 NIU), Roman Wilson (#3 Wisc, HM PSU)

2: Erick All (HM NW, HM MSU), Junior Colson (HM IU, HM PSU), Mike Sainristil (HM WMU, HM Maryland)

1: Andrew Vastardis (HM WMU), Mazi Smith (HM Wash), Gemon Green(HM NIU), Chris Hinton (HM Rutgers),  Taylor Upshaw (HM IU), Michael Barrett (HM Maryland), Matt Torey(HM Maryland)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Edwards gets a linebacker in man coverage on a wheel route and lol nope.

Honorable mention: Kick return trick play TD; punt block; INT return TD; various absurd catches; Michigan draws a hold!

image​MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

The first half of OSU-MSU.

Honorable mention: Maryland scores a touchdown and a two point conversion to make us all remember the MSU game; McNamara throws two different balls into OL helmets.

[After THE JUMP: Jay Harbaugh for Broyles Award]

The answer to MSU's defense is a center as smart as Cesar [Patrick Barron]

Previously in this series covering the 2010s: Favorite Blocks, QB-RB-WR, TE-FB-OL, Defensive Line, Linebacker, Secondary, Worst Calls, and Dumbest Plays so might as well do the flipside.

This post has a sponsor. Speaking of smart plays, if you’re lookin for a gift to celebrate dads or grads, Michigan Stadium Products makes stuff out of the original Michigan Stadium bench seats and Crisler Arena playing surface, like a pen with a COA signed by Cazzie Russell. MGoBlog readers enjoy a 10% discount on all purchases by using code DADGRAD20 through 6/15.

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10. Martin and Van Bergen, Coaches at Large

2012 SUGAR BOWL

image

Football hmmm… [Eric Upchurch]

The press got word after the 2011 Ohio State game that senior DTs Ryan Van Bergen and Mike Martin had been given the green light by their coaches to make the line calls for each play, including when and how to stunt. That in itself wasn’t highly remarkable; the modern Michigan equivalent of RVB’s position, the Anchor, makes line calls for the defense today. The reason it goes down in the lore of these guys is they got so good at it.

They were also the two who lined up and dove into the A gaps to stop VT’s hurry-up 4th and 1 sneak, called the slant that got Frank Clark in to intercept a screen pass, and the slant that got Jake Ryan inside the tackle then chasing inside out on the ensuing rollouts. RVB was doing it on a broken foot too.

-Seth

[After THE JUMP: Glasgows be here]

just guys being dudes [Patrick Barron]

11/16/2019 – Michigan 44, Michigan State 10 – 8-2, 5-2 Big Ten

This, finally, is what the program that used to proudly proclaim that they brought "60 minutes of unnecessary roughness" with them has been reduced to:

“I think it was a little bit of poor class on their part, poor sportsmanship to come over to our sideline barking how they were,” Michigan State linebacker Tyriq Thompson said. “It comes with the game, with the rivalry. It is what it is. Still, it’s just terrible taste.”

Whining about the Michigan sideline waving to them, and asserting an advantage in "class" immediately after a game in which one of their defensive linemen was ejected for head-hunting Shea Patterson. Last year that same guy tried to injure Michigan players, twice.

This site doesn't go in for "class." Class is a way to complain that you got your ass beat and someone enjoyed doing it to you. As Spencer Hall has asserted, great teams taunt. The least interesting question in football is whether team X ran up the score. I don't want to hear it if the answer is no. Twist the knife.

It's not like Michigan State can work harder to beat Michigan. There's nowhere else to go. So show them where things are at.

[After the JUMP: where it's at]

dorfs are natural in week one; the things Uche and Collins due are supernatural

Michigan's been consistent in a thing that's hard to be consistent in 

cause you said you'd never score TDs

(you lied to me) but you did, but yoooo did