brad robbins

renaissance baby [Patrick Barron]

9/10/2022 – Michigan 56, Hawaii 10 – 2-0

There's a certain point where you're just unreasonably invested in some guy making a simple throw against a very bad team. JJ McCarthy rolled out on his second drive and had Erick All in the flat. Hawaii's safety was flying up at McCarthy, because McCarthy ran as much as he passed in Michigan's opener. All was open, and all McCarthy had to do was not screw up an easy play.

He did not. He flipped the ball out to All, who picked up a first down. Hooray.

I mean, what else was left? He'd just thrown a (nearly) in-stride bomb. As soon as he came in against Colorado State he ran for a touchdown, juking a safety along the way. He throws outs on a line, with velocity you can hear. He is a wide array of talents in one package. And so then there's just one thing left: don't be weird. Please, please, please don't be weird.

Don't be really good at the hard things and turf every screen. Don't have exactly one velocity everything is thrown at. Don't spend most plays bugging out of clean pockets. Don't call all your offensive linemen "Scooter 1," "Scooter 2," and so forth and so on. Don't watch defensive ends tear hell for leather at the running back and hand it off anyway. Don't throw the ball short, unless you should. When you throw the ball long, either throw it to open guys or give your guys a chance even if they're covered. Check into all the right plays. Have a mind like a diamond and eyes that burn like cigarettes.

That sort of thing.

You know, just be MechaGodzilla, the quarterback. Be instantly great, three standard deviations above the mean. Don't be one of those weird guys in the middle of the bell curve. Just throw the ball to the tight end so he can run. And do it every time, without variation, unless the defense requires you to vary. As they inevitably will.

Be perfect. Be fucking perfect. Be an unassailable tower of precision and might. Do everything right and nothing wrong and if you do something wrong fix it immediately. Make cacio e pepe without the sauce breaking.

And JJ McCarthy said "…ok"?

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[Barron]

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This is the point where you dump out the caveats because someone in the comments is going to go "actually it was just Hawaii," but no, not this time. Go ahead, guy in comments. I acknowledge that other teams aren't going to accidentally run zero coverage on first and ten. I acknowledge that Roman Wilson is seven times faster than any Rainbow Warrior. Now you acknowledge, buddy. You sit there and say "holy shit" softly to yourself, just once.

Yeah, that feels real good.

I HAVE SEEN THINGS BUDDY

I have seen John O'Korn come in against Purdue and look like GOD HIMSELF. I have seen the NUMBER ONE DEFENSE IN AMERICA give up sixty septillion points to Ohio State crossing routes. I HAVE SEEN A SHIMMERING IN THE DISTANCE THAT SLOWLY RESOLVES ITSELF INTO A QUARTERBACK OF SUCH UTTER PERFECTION HE BEATS NOTRE DAME'S HEAD IN DESPITE SPOTTING THEM A VERY SILLY TOUCHDOWN AND HAVING NO OFFENSIVE LINE AT ALL. I have seen the ending of several LSU games.

I have perceived! Many times! I have built an entire persona around perceiving and relating things!

I'm ready. I am ready to make that call, the call no one ever mentions unless you're wrong and then every time you breathe a 16-year-old Michigan State fan puts a screenshot of it on your forehead. Well, screw you, @oldtakesexposed. I ain't afraid of you.

JJ McCarthy is it.

I'm in. I'm sold. He's never going to throw an interception. He's going to average 15 yards an attempt. He is going to slip out of a sack by detaching one of his arms and regrow it at halftime. He's going to NYC next year. Hell, maybe this year. Whatever. Make an outlandish prediction. I endorse it. JJ McCarthy is going to make Nick Saban quit football. He's going to invent shoes. He's gonna make Pluto a planet again. It's all happening.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

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touchdown [Patrick Barron]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 JJ McCarthy. If Ronnie Bell had caught that slant and picked up 11 yards—and he was probably getting at least 20—McCarthy would have averaged 20 YPA. Also he ran the ball once for 16 yards. That'll do, pig. That'll do.

#2 Blake Corum. Like last week, Corum is sort of a default pick in a game where almost nobody got to do a lof of stuff. On the other hand, nearly 10 YPC on nine carries will do nicely.

#3(t) Mazi Smith, Kris Jenkins, Mike Morris. Folks, if you set aside RJ Moten's four Michigan's leading tacklers in this game were Caden Kolesar, Micah Pollard, Deuce Spurlock, Jaydon Hood, and Kenneth Grant. My kingdom for a game competitive enough that someone can actually earn a spot for doing more than one thing. Most of the front gets this because Hawaii's ground game was picking one guy to double and losing to the other two guys every time. Two points each to marginally distinguish them from the HMs.

Honorable mention: Ronnie Bell had a drop and a fumble that knocked him down here but also caught six balls. Cornelius Johnson and Roman Wilson both hit multiple big plays. Donovan Edwards had a personal touchdown drive. Rayshaun Benny and Mason Graham looked more or less like starters. Makari Paige nearly had an INT and had a nice PBU.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

10: Mazi Smith (#1 CSU, T3 Hawaii), Blake Corum (#2 CSU, #2 Hawaii)

8: JJ McCarthy (#1 Hawaii)

3: Junior Colson (#3 CSU)

2: Mike Morris (T3 Hawaii), Kris Jenkins (T3 Hawaii), Ronnie Bell (HM CSU, HM Hawaii), Roman Wilson (HM CSU, HM Hawaii),

1: Braiden McGregor (HM CSU), Eyabi Anoma (HM CSU), Derrick Moore (HM CSU), Jaylen Harrell (HM CSU), Rod Moore (HM CSU), Makari Paige (HM Hawaii), Rayshaun Benny (HM Hawaii), Mason Graham (HM Hawaii), Cornelius Johnson (HM Hawaii), Donovan Edwards (HM Hawaii).

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

McCarthy rips the ball out of a mesh point and fires a laser to Ronnie Bell for an RPO touchdown.

Honorable mention: Ten of McCarthy's eleven other throws. Davis Warren fires an eyepopping dart to Max Bredeson. Mike Morris busts through for a sack.

imageMARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

People boo Cade McNamara. WTF.

Honorable mention: Rain delay. Hawaii rushing touchdown looks pretty bad for third stringers.

[After THE JUMP: jeepers]
we have added to our collection of pictures with both QBs in them [Patrick Barron]

9/3/2022 – Michigan 51, Colorado State 7 – 1-0

There's no real way around it, folks: the main talking point coming out a shellacking of a very bad team is who did what at quarterback. I extend a grumble towards the AP for framing a not quite generic enough press conference answer from Cade McNamara like so:

McNamara unhappy after No. 8 Michigan beats Colorado St 51-7

One grumble, extended.

But also I, like everyone else, was extending grumbles when Michigan's offense did not seem like a well-oiled death machine. Instead it was more or less last year: hiccups, moving the ball between the twenties, red zone difficulties. This is not my beautiful house. McNamara started out the season by not doing the things he's supposed to do better than his competition, like complete basic passes to move the sticks.

https://youtu.be/dosqiWJu3g4?t=30

Three of his throws on the first couple drives were inaccurate. Maybe more alarming is that McNamara did not attempt anything down the field. We're not talking bombs. A seam, a post, a dig, a deep out: these did not happen. This was in part because CSU is running some DJ Durkin stuff with a safety playing in the parking lot, but this was an audition. You don't get the part by mumbling in the background.

Similarly, if McNamara's going to stay in front because he's reading things better that did not show up either. The throw to Erick All that was nearly intercepted probably would have been complete if All hadn't stumbled, but that was a TE angle on third and ten that's getting tackled short of the sticks unless All does something heroic. Meanwhile Roman Wilson is going to be wide open on a corner route to the field:

https://youtu.be/dosqiWJu3g4?t=204

That play even looks like it's supposed to be ooh shiny for that cornerback to the bottom as he gets Donovan Edwards motioning to him, but McNamara made a pre-snap decision to look left and take a six yard pass on third and ten.

Turn a 61-yard screen pass into a more typical 8-yard one and McNamara averaged 4.6 yards an attempt while completing half his passes. One Bell drop aside this could not be placed on his receiving corps. The operative theory for how McNamara stays in front of the other guy with the cannon arm and Corum speed is that he is a relentless metronome of efficiency. If he's not, it's JJ McCarthy's job to lose.

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McCarthy did nothing to lose it during his second half cameo. It was remarkable how much easier everything suddenly felt. One power play with two DL charging at McCarthy and one wide open arc read keeper, touchdown. The entire stadium goes "hmm," except for the various McCarthy Yahoos in the stands who have been calling for him since McNamara's first incompletion. They are looking around, big-boned and fey, daring anyone to dispute their righteous quest to bench the starter.

Kick a successful McCarthy-era RB run and you'll find a Ram looking up McCarthy well after that is a reasonable thing to do:

CSU LB to top

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dosqiWJu3g4&t=459s

McCarthy didn't tear it up in the air. He did calmly hit a seven yard out to the field on third and five. He looked calm and collected and generally on par with McCarthy when it came to the metronome stuff.

The days here are so early that we can't say much of anything for sure, but if they're at all close when it comes to the basics it's going to be impossible to keep McCarthy off the field.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

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CONSUME [Patrick Barron]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 Mazi Smith. Michigan went out of its way to make this section impossible to determine via box score alone. Seven sacks split between ten players; eighteen catches split between fifteen receivers. The defense rotated incessantly, and the starting QB was kind of meh.

I'm pretty sure Smith is going to come out with a big UFR score, though, because he was crushing back whoever he faced. He picked up 1.5 TFLs and half a sack, and three solo tackles is a meaningful stat for a nose. On a third and six in the second half when Michigan sent an exotic blitz, Smith was tasked with holding an edge and two CSU OL, clearly terrified of him, stuck with him the whole play.

So far so good for massive projections.

#2 Blake Corum. Got more than two offensive touches and hurdled a fool so here he is.

#3 Junior Colson. Also a beneficiary of actually getting a bunch of time. Ten tackles, many of them at or near the line of scrimmage, and as of yet no moments that pop out as him running fast in the incorrect direction.

Honorable mention: uhhhhh… Braiden McGregor, Eyabi Anoma, Derrick Moore and Jaylen Harrell all took turns turning in eye-opening edge rushes that may or may not mean anything. Rod Moore caught the ball thrown at him, very nice. Ronnie Bell had a nice catch and was the key block on the Roman Wilson TD; meanwhile Wilson is fast.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

8: Mazi Smith (#1 CSU)

5: Blake Corum (#2 CSU)

3: Junior Colson (#3 CSU)

1: Braiden McGregor (HM CSU), Eyabi Anoma (HM CSU), Derrick Moore (HM CSU), Jaylen Harrell (HM CSU), Rod Moore (HM CSU), Ronnie Bell (HM CSU), Roman Wilson (HM CSU)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

JJ McCarthy enters and immediately crumples the CSU run defense, first by drawing two guys when he's a decoy and then by scoring an easy TD on an arc read. Hits different.

Honorable mention: Any of seven different sacks. McGregor flushes the QB up in the pocket and Rod Moore takes advantage. Ronnie Bell's first catch matches up with a fortuitously timed review to allow Michigan Stadium time to offer their appreciation.

image​MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

McNamara throws behind a Cornelius Johnson drag route with a good shot at a touchdown and Michigan ends up kicking a field goal, giving off vibes that McNamara is pretty much what he was last year.

Honorable mention: Various commercial breaks. Erick All stumbles and CSU nearly gets a pick. Will Johnson gets beat on a fly route for the CSU TD.

[After THE JUMP: edges out the ears?]
[Bryan Fuller]

Previously: Podcast 14.0A14.0B14.0CThe StoryQuarterbackRunning BackWide ReceiverTight EndOffensive TackleInterior OLDefensive InteriorEdgeLinebackerCornerback. Safety.

Kicker Yr Punter Yr Kickoffs Yr Punt Return Yr Kick Return Yr
Jake Moody Sr.* Brad Robbins Sr.* Jake Moody Sr.* AJ Henning Jr. Roman Wilson Jr.
Tommy Doman Fr.* Tommy Doman Fr.* Tommy Doman Fr.* Ronnie Bell Sr.* AJ Henning Jr. 

Michigan gets back the Groza winner, a Ray Guy finalist, the Big Ten's best punt returner by YPA, a wide receiver who blocked two punts a year ago, and is about to deploy Roman Wilson as the kickoff returner. The question foremost in this preview's mind is whether Michigan will repeat as the best special teams unit in America, as measured by FEI.

Is there a German word for "we thought this guy was a nepotism hire but he's secretly the best special teams coach in America"?

KICKING: IT GOES IN

RATING: 5

51681247734_ee49e73676_c

something about golf clubs [Patrick Barron]

I'm not sure what else to say?

Moody was 23/25 last year and had that draw you see on the two Nebraska field goals all year. The draw is comforting like a 30-year-old recliner. Moody puts the ball up, it drifts a little to the left, every time. No funny stuff is going on with these field goals. You could rub warm butter over Rob Thomas and it would not be as smooth as a Jake Moody field goal.

[After THE JUMP: quien es mas punto, Iowa?]

The man who kicks the footballs is back.

Wait, still up there.

Still up there.

Not yet.

Yes I see your hand waiving, just be patient.

They're just here to see if you catch it; don't mind them.

Not yet.

Okay....wait....okay.

someone give Sean Clifford a hug

moot it's all moot

mmmm guerilla art stadium 

if this column was a Sufjan Stevens song it would be called "Come On! Feel The Broken Bones Of All Who Oppose Your Mighty Ground Assault!" 

Last call! Get your Bits now!

We're chasing you, but what are you chasing?

my kingdom for a fair caught 45-yard punt