coronavirus induced crazyposting

Masterpieces of #coronacontent. As our national sanity declines in daily increments expect more and more pieces borne out of a feverish desperation. Like this from Holly Anderson and Ryan Nanni about the 1997 Harrison Ford vehicle Air Force One, which features a Michigan-Notre Dame game as part of its background:

For you unlettered souls who have never experienced this film, it goes like this: Harrison Ford is the American president; he’s in Russia on a state visit, and on the way back his plane is taken over by a band of ultra-nationalist rebels led by Gary Oldman. President Harrison Ford’s family is on the plane, along with a good chunk of his Cabinet, and the rebels want their separatist general released from prison or they’ll shoot everybody.

What they don’t know is, everybody on the plane already wants to shoot everybody else, because Notre Dame and Michigan are playing football on television.

RYAN: This is arguably the most relatable aspect of the film. Most of us will never know the burden of managing international affairs at the highest level, and while we do worry about taking care of our families, “foil hijackers” comes in far below “manage child’s expectations about becoming a pro soccer player.” Traveling while your team is playing? That’s a thing I’ve lived, and I bet you have, too. I don’t know if it’s the change to routine, the combination of game stress and travel stress, or low air pressure, but watching a game you care about on a plane amplifies the experience. And not in a good way.

Apparently there is a point in this movie where someone yells "14-13 Michigan, all right!" This would never happen. There is no Michigan fan who would discover Michigan is leading by one point and exclaim happily.

Instead they would envision the various and terrible ways in which that slenderest of leads could be lost. A punt that corkscrews sideways, setting up a short field. Locusts eating the left guard's jersey. Someone drops a baby out of a plane that the quarterback has to catch instead of holding onto the ball. The entire team is crippled by explosive toenail growth. Etc.

[After THE JUMP: three-cone drill numbers!]

1 hour and 42 minutes

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[Hit THE JUMP for the writeup and the player]

He pieced it together on stage.

"Chillax," the swarthy little beast who described himself as an "intergalactic space badger" and managed to pronounce the air quotes in his name, sat in the front row. He uttered some words of encouragement. These were exactly the same words he'd heard in a similar context a long time ago on a bus trip that seemed to take months. Another life.

A key turned in his mind. The nagging familiarity of everything that had happened to him over the past month fell into place. "Chillax" was the goofy sidekick constantly getting himself and everyone he knew into trouble. By virtue of being British, Idris Elba was the philosopher of the group. Prince, naturally, was the ring leader and emcee. That made Matt LeBlanc the damaged but beautiful love interest?

[After THE JUMP: the reveal!]